84- Discipline Without Rigidity: How Busy Women Build Lasting Strength with Flexible Fitness

In this episode of MilesFromHerView, host Kat explores the concept of discipline in fitness, suggesting that flexibility and adaptability are key to achieving long-term health goals. Addressing the common misconception that discipline means adhering to a rigid plan, Kat introduces the idea of 'committed flexibility'—staying focused on your goals while adapting your approach to fit life's unpredictability. She shares practical strategies for integrating workouts into busy schedules and emphasizes that building lasting strength comes from consistently showing up, even imperfectly. The episode encourages listeners to move away from all-or-nothing thinking, redefine their success metrics, and prioritize small, consistent actions over perfection.

00:00 Introduction: The Paradox of Missing Workouts

01:02 Welcome to MilesFromHerView

02:16 Redefining Discipline

03:14 The Reality of Rigid Fitness

04:54 Committed Flexibility: A New Approach

09:06 Practical Strategies for Busy Lives

14:45 The Long-Term Vision of Fitness

20:21 Your Challenge: Embrace Imperfection

21:46 Conclusion: Show Up Imperfectly

23:05 Outro: Stay Connected and Keep Moving

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Transcript

Kat: 0:00

What if I told you that missing a workout could actually be part of your disciplined approach to fitness? I know, I know that sounds completely backwards, but stay with me here. Recently, one of my clients had a breakthrough. She's a working professional with young kids, and she told me, I realized I was always waiting for the perfect time to work out the perfect level of energy, wanting to feel like I crushed the workout every single time, and that was stopping me from committing. Can you relate? Maybe you're listening to this right now while folding laundry at 10:00 PM because that's the first quiet moment you've had all day. Or you're in the school pickup line, squeezing in a podcast before the chaos of homework and dinner and sports happen. Or maybe you're on your morning commute already mentally running through the 17th things that didn't go according to plan today, and it's not even 8:00 AM Here's what I want you to know. You don't need the perfect conditions to build a strong body. You need something else entirely. And that's what we're diving into today. Welcome to MilesFromHerView, the podcast powered by KatFit Strength, where busy women like you find practical solutions to fuel your fitness journey with authenticity and resilience. I'm Kat, your host, a mom of two active boys, a business owner, and an ultra marathon runner and a strength trainer in her forties with nearly two decades of experience. I'm here to help you cut through the noise of fads, hacks, and quick fixes. This is a space where we celebrate womanhood and motherhood. All while building strength and resilience and reconnecting with you from a place of self-compassion and worthiness. Whether you're lacing up your running shoes to go out for a run, driving your kids to practice or squeezing in a moment for yourself, I'm right here in the trenches with you. Let's dive in.

1:51

Welcome back, I'm Kat. This is Miles from Review. Welcome, if you are a first time listener and welcome back again. If you have been a long time listener. I am grateful to have you here at the time this podcast is coming out. We are now into December. Maybe you are feeling all the things, all the overwhelm that maybe this season brings, or maybe you are choosing to let go of some things this season. But wherever you're at today, we are going to talk about discipline. But not in the way you think. Trust me, please bear with me. Don't switch me off. We're gonna be talking about how real discipline isn't rigidness. It's not about crushing every workout or following the perfect plan. See, the thing about real discipline is about staying focused on your goal while being wildly adaptable in how you get there. The key word there is adaptable. Because here's the truth, if you wait for the perfect opportunity, you're never gonna do it. Your goals will always go unattained and that strong, adventurous version of yourself at 60, 70, 80 years old. Well, she needs you to start showing up and perfectly now. So let's get into. What we think discipline really means. When I ask women what discipline looks like, they usually describe something rigid, something that looks like waking up at 5:00 AM every single day, following the exact same workout plan, never missing a session, never modifying, never deviating. It's this image of militant fitness person who lets nothing stand in their way. And I get it. That seems very appealing and there's something very seductive about that idea that if we just white knuckle our way through, if we're just tough enough, dedicated enough, rigid enough, then we'll finally achieve our goals. We see these images. Everywhere in social media, the idea of discipline is portrayed that we never miss a workout, that we are able to handle all the things while being able to show up in our workout and crushing it, that we never, ever, ever have to adapt. But here's what actually happens with that approach. Sometimes you make it two weeks, maybe a month. If you're really determined, then a baby gets sick, work explodes, or you get injured. Or honestly, you just get exhausted from the unsustainability of it all. And then what? You feel like a failure. You tell yourself you don't have what it takes and you quit because honestly. It's exhausting. I've seen this cycle play out hundreds of times. I myself have been in that cycle and it breaks my heart because these women do have what it takes, and they're just operating in the wrong definition of discipline. So here's what I want you to consider. What if discipline isn't about rigid adherence to a plan? What if discipline is actually about committed flexibility toward a goal? Think about it like navigation. You're driving somewhere, you know your destination, right? But if there's construction on your usual route, do you just sit there refusing to take a detour because this wasn't the plan? Of course not. You adjust or your GPS will adjust. You take a different street, you might even use a completely different route, but you still get to your destination. See, that is real discipline. Discipline is the direction, not the daily perfection. So your destination is aging, strong, lifting weights, adventuring through life not being frail. That doesn't change, but the route, the route is going to change constantly and that's not a problem. That's not failure of discipline. That is discipline. So when you understand this, everything starts to shift. Suddenly, your workout that you did with your toddler climbing on your back during planks, that counts that 15 minute session instead of your 45 minutes. That counts the day you did body weight exercises in your living room instead of going to the gym. That absolutely counts. Even the day you choose rest because you've been up all night for whatever reason that counts because you stayed pointed towards your goal. You just adapted the root. Now. Let's talk about why we get stuck in this perfection trap in the first place, because I think there's something deeper going on here. And when my client said she was always waiting to crush the workout, I knew exactly what she meant. So there's this feeling that we're chasing, right? That feeling of walking out of the gym like a total badass sore the next day that makes you feel accomplished. That sense of I destroyed my workout, and don't get me wrong like that. Those workouts are amazing and I love them too. But here's the problem. When we make that the standard for whether a workout counts, we set ourselves up for failure because let's be real about your life. You're juggling work, kids relationships, maybe aging parents. Definitely a mental load that would crush most people. And some days you are running on five hours of sleep because someone had a nightmare or you are up. You're finishing a work project, or maybe that's your only time to take a little me time, and you need that. Some days you're fighting off a cold and some days you're just emotionally tapped out from everything you're carrying. And those days, are you gonna crush your workout? Probably not. And if that's your bar for success, you are not going to work out at all. But here's, I want you to understand this. This all or nothing thinking is actually ego and perfectionism masquerading as dedication and it's not serving you, it's sabotaging you. Real discipline, the kind that builds a strong body that lasts for decades looks like showing up at 60% when that's all you've got. It looks like doing the modified version. It looks like saying today I have 20 minutes and moderate energy, so I'm going to do three key exercises and call it good. That's not settling, that's strategic. That's sustainable. That's what actually works. Think about it this way. Would you rather have 12 weeks of crushed workouts followed by burnout in six months of nothing, or three years of seven to out of 10 efforts with the occasional rockstar session mixed in? I can tell you this, from working with hundreds of women. The second option is what builds real strength. The second option is what transforms your body. The second option is what creates the capable, adventurous, 70-year-old version of yourself? Aging strong? Doesn't happen because you had a bunch of perfect workouts in your thirties or forties. It happens because you consistently show up imperfectly for decades. Speaking of showing up consistently even when life is messy. This is exactly why I created my online training program the way I did because I work with real women living, realize women who don't have endless time for perfect or perfect conditions. Women who need a program that works with their life, not against it. And let me tell you what that actually looks like. If you're listening to this and thinking, yes, this is exactly what I need, but I have no idea how to actually implement it, I've got you Cat Fit online training is specifically designed for women who want to age strong, but need real flexibility in how they train. This isn't a cookie cutter program that ignores your actual life. Here's what you get. Customized strength training plans that you can do at home or at the gym. Workouts that scale from 15 minutes to 45 minutes depending on what your day looks like. And most importantly, coaching from someone who actually gets it. Someone who understands that some weeks you're going to hit every workout and some weeks you're going to cobble together. Whatever you can manage. And both of those weeks count. My online clients get access to me through my app video demonstrations. Every exercise a community of women who are all navigating a similar journey. Women who celebrate 10 minute workouts just as much as a full session. Women who are building strength at last, not chasing the next fitness trend. When you're ready to stop waiting for perfect and start building real lasting strength. Head to the show notes and click on the link there, and I'd love to work with you. All right, let's get back to it. So we talked about redefining discipline and escaping the perfect workout track. Now let's get practical because understanding this conceptually is one thing, but actually implementing it in your daily life, that's where the magic happens. And I wanna give you a framework that I use with my clients, and I call it the and approach. This is about holding two truths at the same time. Because what I've noticed, women tend to swing between two extremes. Either they're rigid, all and nothing mode where they're a hundred percent committed and every detail matters or. They're in. Nothing matters. I'll just wing it mode where there's real no commitment at all. Both of these fail, and they fail for the same reason, because they can't hold complexity. Real life is complex. You need commitment and flexibility, need structure and adaptability. You need plan, and. Permission to deviate it. So here's what the and approach sounds like. I've committed to strength training three times per week, and I'll adapt the format based on the day. I prioritized my workout and I accept interruptions without spiraling into the all or nothing thinking mode I have. I have a plan. What I, I have a plan for what I wanna accomplish, and I give myself permission to modify it based on my energy, time, and circumstances. See how that works. So you're not abandoning the commitment, but you're also not. Being rigid about how it looks. So lemme give you a couple real life examples. So the minimum effective dose of a workout, so your ideal workout that you plan, maybe it's 45 minutes full warmup or exercises, cooled down, stretching amazing. But today you woke up late, you have back to back meetings, and you're already running on fumes. Here's your minimum effective dose, 10 minutes. Three key exercises, maybe that's a goblet squat, pushups and rows or deadlifts, overhead press and planks. Three compound movements. You hit your full body, you do three to four sets of each. Done. Is it your ideal workout? Absolutely not. Does it maintain your strength and keep you in the habit? A thousand percent. Yes. All right. The kid inclusion strategy. Your partner's working late, you have absolutely no childcare, and you were really hoping to do a workout tonight. Old you would say, yes, I can't workout today. Knew you. You set up in the living room. You kids become your timers. They count your reps. They do their own version of the exercise next to you, which is. Probably gonna be pretty adorable. And also teaching them that movement is just part of life. You might have to pause mid set to referee dispute or get someone a snack. Trust me, I've been there. Totally fine. You still get it done. And one of my clients does this regularly. Her kids now ask her, when are we gonna work out together? She's building strength, for herself, and she's modeling it for the next generation. The split session option. You look at your day and you realize there's no 30 minute block anywhere, but you have 10 minutes before work and about 10 minutes before kids go to bed. So you split it upper body in the morning, lower body at night, or 15 minutes today and 15 minutes tomorrow. Your muscles don't know the difference. Your body gets the stimulus it needs to build muscle and maintain strength. The tomorrow pivot this one. Is a big one and sometimes despite your best efforts, it just doesn't happen the day completely got away from you. You're exhausted. It's 9:00 PM and you haven't worked out. Old mindset. I failed. I'm not disciplined. Why do I even try this Never works. New mindset. Today didn't work out. Tomorrow I'll make it happen. This doesn't mean anything about my commitment or my character, it just means I'm human. And life happened. You move it tomorrow, you don't spiral, you don't quit. You just adjust and move forward. See, this is discipline. This is adaptability. This is resilience. This is what discipline actually looks like in real life. Now I wanna zoom all the way out here. Because of all of this, the flexible discipline, the imperfect workouts, the constant adaptation. It can feel small in the moment. You might finish a 15 minute workout and think, is this really making a difference? So let me paint you a picture of what this is actually building towards. So can you imagine yourself at 65 or 70 or 80? What does she look like? What is she able to do? Is she hesitant to go downstairs because she's not sure her legs will support her? Is she asking for help opening up jars because her grip strength is gone? Is she declining invitations to a hike with friends because she knows she can't make it up the trail? Is she frail, fragile, afraid, or falling? Is she frail, fragile, afraid of falling, or is she strong? Is she hiking those trails, maybe even carrying a backpack? Is she getting up and down off the floor easily to play with grandkids? Is she traveling, adventuring, trying new things? Is she confident in her body's ability to carry her through life? That second woman, that strong, capable, adventurous one, she's not built in one perfect year of training. She's built in 30 years of imperfect consistency. She's built in all of those 15 minute workouts when that's all there was time for. She's built in the workouts with kids hanging on her. She's built in the modified versions when energy was low. She's built in the 60% instead of waiting for a hundred percent, and I want you to understand this. Perfect workouts for six weeks, followed by quitting does not build this woman imperfect Consistency for 30 years does every time you show up, even if it's not ideal, even if it's not what you planned, even if it feels too small to matter. You're making a deposit into your future self's strength account. You are literally building the body that's going to carry you through the second half of your life. Frailty doesn't happen because you had some imperfect workouts. Frailty happens when we abandon ourselves repeatedly. Let me say that again. Frailty doesn't happen because you had some imperfect workouts. Frailty happens when we abandon ourselves repeatedly, when we let the perfect. Be the enemy of the good. So many times that years go by without consistent movement. When we quit over and over because it didn't look the way it should. You want to know what the most successful clients I've worked with have in common? It's not that they never missed workouts. It's not that they always felt motivated. It's not that their lives were less chaotic than yours. It's that they made peace with imperfection. They understand that the goal isn't perfection, it's direction. They show up in whatever way they can, and they don't let imperfect days convince'em to quit entirely. That's the long game. That's where real fitness and lasting strength is built. That's what creates the 70-year-old version of you that you actually wanna be. I wanna address something that might be coming up for you as you listen to this. Maybe you're thinking, but this just isn't making sense. It isn't just letting myself off the hook. And I wonder why you would get that. We've been taught that discipline means being hard on ourselves, that anything less than the maximum effort is weakness. That flexibility is just coded for not really trying, but I want you to consider this. What if being hard on yourself is actually what's keeping you stuck? Think about it. When you miss a workout or you don't hit your plan perfectly, what happens? You beat yourself up. You tell yourself you're not disciplined enough, not dedicated, not strong enough, and then what? Do you immediately spring into action and do better, or do you feel defeated and wanna quit? Most women, it's the second one. Self-criticism does not motivate. It paralyzes. But when you give yourself permission to be imperfect, when you say, today was a 15 minute workout, and that counts something different happens. You feel successful, you prove to yourself that you can show up even when conditions aren't ideal and that builds momentum, that actually builds, sustainable discipline. This isn't about lowering your standards. This is about changing your metrics for success. Old metric, did I execute the plan perfectly? New metric, did I move in the direction of my goals today in whatever way was available to me? Old metric, did I crush the workout and feel amazing? New metric did I show up for myself and do what my body can handle today? Old metric, am I being rigid and never deviating new metric? I am staying committed to my goal while adapting my approach. When you change the metrics, you change the game, and suddenly you're winning a lot more and winning builds confidence and momentum to keep going. This is especially important for all of us in this life stage. You're juggling so much, carrying so much responsibility, and you need an approach that works with your life and not against it. You need to feel success. You need to feel successful more often than like you're failing, and that's not weakness, that's strategic. That's smart. All right. I'm gonna leave you with something concrete because information without application doesn't change anything. So here's your challenge. For this week, I want you to identify your own waiting for perfect trap. What's your version of waiting for the perfect time, the perfect energy level, the perfect conditions? Maybe it's, I'll start working out when the kids are back in school and I have more time. Maybe it's I'll commit when I can afford the perfect gym with childcare. Maybe it's, I'll begin when I have a full hour available because anything less isn't worth it. Maybe it's I'll work out when I feel more energized and motivated. Whatever it is, I want you to name it, write it down, get really clear on what perfect you're waiting for, and then I want you to choose one flexible strategy from today's episode that you're going to implement just one. Maybe it's deciding that 10 minute workouts count just as much as 45 maybe it's deciding that 10 minute workouts count just as much as a 45 minute one does. Maybe it's planning to include your kids in your workouts twice this week. Maybe it's giving yourself permission to split sessions if needed. Maybe it's committing to the tomorrow. Pivot without guilt when life happens. Pick one strategy, commit to it for a week. Then notice what happens. My guess you're going to work out more than you have been. You're going to feel more successful, and you're going to prove to yourself that you can be disciplined without being rigid and everything else is going to change. I want you to remember this from today. Discipline is not rigidness. Discipline is committed flexibility towards your goals. You don't need perfect conditions to build a strong body. You need consistent, imperfect action over a long period of time. Every time you show up, no matter how imperfect, you're building a strong, capable, adventurous version of yourself that you want to be at 70, 80, and 90 years old, stop waiting for perfect. Start showing up imperfectly. That's the real work. That's what changes everything. If today's episode resonated with you, I'd love to hear about it, share it with another woman who needs to hear this message. Leave a review, follow the podcast, send me a message on social media, and tell me what your waiting for perfect trap is and which flexibility strategy you're going to implement this week. And if you want support actually implementing this, if you want a program design specifically for real life with real flexibility focused on building real strength that lasts, come check out Cafe Online Training. You can find all the details in the show notes. Thank you for being here. Thank you for showing up for yourself, even in a small way of listening to this podcast. That counts too. Now, go show up for yourself this week and perfectly and powerfully. I'll see you next time.

Kat: 24:18

Thank you for tuning in to MilesFromHerView, powered by KatFit Strength. If this podcast inspires you, don't keep it for yourself. Hit follow or subscribe to stay updated on the new episodes, and leave us a review to help more women and moms discover this space. Your feedback fuels this podcast and I'd love to hear what's working for you or what topics you want to dive into Next. You can connect with me on Instagram at KatFit or share this episode. Road with a friend who is ready to embrace her strength. Remember, fitness isn't about perfection. It's about showing up for yourself and finding strength in every step of your journey. Until next time, keep moving forward one mile at a time.