77- How to Balance Motherhood and Fitness in Your 40s: 8 Real Strategies for Busy Moms (No Perfection Required)

In this episode of 'MilesFromHerView,' host Kat, a seasoned fitness trainer and mom of two, dives into the real challenges of balancing motherhood and fitness. Kat dismisses the Instagram-perfect version of workouts and shares eight practical strategies for busy moms to integrate fitness into their chaotic lives. She emphasizes the importance of consistency over perfection, scheduling non-negotiable workout times, sharing household responsibilities, and adapting workouts to include children when necessary. Kat also discusses the mental battle of guilt and comparison, encouraging moms to focus on what they can do, recognize the seasons of life they're in, and keep moving forward, even when workouts are messy or interrupted. This episode is a blend of motivational pep talk and actionable advice for moms striving to maintain their fitness amidst the demands of motherhood.

00:00 The Unspoken Truths of Motherhood and Fitness

00:48 Welcome to MilesFromHerView

01:39 Balancing Motherhood and Fitness

03:39 Designated Workout Times

06:47 Divide and Conquer: Sharing Responsibilities

10:20 Incorporating the Kids into Your Fitness Routine

12:57 Embracing Messy and Interrupted Workouts

15:12 Working in Ranges: Flexibility in Fitness

17:34 Recognizing the Seasons of Life

19:51 Focusing on What You Can Do

22:05 The Mental Battle of Staying Still

24:17 Conclusion: Keep Moving Forward

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Transcript

Kat: 0:00

You know what nobody tells you about being a mom, that you're going to feel guilty for wanting to take time for yourself, that you'll have to fight for an hour to train like you are negotiating a business deal that some days your workout is going to be interrupted 17 times, and you'll have to decide if that's still counts. Here's what I've learned. Motherhood is not the end of your fitness journey. It's just a new chapter with different rules, and today we're going to talk about what those rules are, not the Instagram version, the real messy interrupted. Sometimes you're doing the squats with a toddler on your back version because you don't have to choose between being a good mom and being strong. You just have to learn to do both. In the same season of life. Let's get into it. Welcome to MilesFromHerView, the podcast powered by KatFit Strength, where busy women like you find practical solutions to fuel your fitness journey with authenticity and resilience. I'm Kat, your host, a mom of two active boys, a business owner, and an ultra marathon runner and a strength trainer in her forties with nearly two decades of experience. I'm here to help you cut through the noise of fads, hacks, and quick fixes. This is a space where we celebrate womanhood and motherhood. All while building strength and resilience and reconnecting with you from a place of self-compassion and worthiness. Whether you're lacing up your running shoes to go out for a run, driving your kids to practice or squeezing in a moment for yourself, I'm right here in the trenches with you. Let's dive in. Hey everyone. Welcome back to MilesFromHerView. I am Kat, I'm your host, and today we're talking about something that I get asked about constantly. How do you actually balance motherhood and fitness without losing your mind in the process? I'm gonna be really real with you. Being a mom means living in constant motion. You're juggling school drop offs, careers, dinner prep. Mountains of laundry that somehow just regenerate overnight and bedtime battles, no matter the age, bedtime battles always happen. And then somewhere in all of that, you're supposed to find time to train. And not just train, but make it meaningful. But here's the reality. Most of the advice out there just completely ignores the fact that you are a mom and it really treats fitness like this cute little hobby that you squeeze in when you have the time. But here's what I've learned both personally and through working with hundreds of moms. Fitness isn't a luxury, it is not selfish. It's actually one of the most important things you can do for yourself primarily. And then I really softly say your family. Your working out routine, your relationship with your workouts is not for your family. So how you get into fitness has to change. The goal is never about perfection. It's not about training like you did before kids or hitting arbitrary standards that just do not fit your life. The goal is staying in motion and learning when to pivot when life does, because life will always cause you to pivot. Life always happens. That's what I tell my clients. I expect life to happen on any given day for myself and for my clients, and we can adapt and go from there. And it happens multiple times a day sometimes. So today we're gonna really get into the eight real practical strategies that actually work. Again, this is not an Instagram highlight reel. It's the messy, interrupted way of getting your fitness in number one designated workout times. Treat them like any other appointment. You probably have heard this one somewhere, but if your workout doesn't have a time or place, it's not going to happen. It is the truth if you just say, I'm gonna work out today, but you do not put a real non-negotiable time for your workout that works in your family rhythm, not in the rhythm that you wish you had, or what a fitness influencer or Instagram is telling you. Or if you put it all one day, when things calm down, you're not going to get it done. And for me. This has looked different in different seasons. When my kids were really, really young, I was up at 5:00 AM because that was the only guaranteed quiet time. I put an asterisk there because there were sometimes little feet would wake up and they would be there too. It was not easy. But that time was my time that I needed because during that time, I could show up for myself because no one needed me, no one was asking for snacks, and I actually complete a workout without stopping. 17 times. My schedule looks different now. Sometimes I'm training mid-morning after the kids get on the bus for school. Sometimes it's lunchtime between client calls, but the point is. It's scheduled and it's protected. I know I am going to show up for myself during that time, and this is what I tell my clients. If it is not on a calendar, it's so easy to skip and I mean actually on your calendar, not just all work out on Tuesday. Block the time, set the reminder and treat it like you would a parent teacher meeting or a doctor's appointment because you would not skip those because you just didn't feel like it or because the house is messy right now. Bring that same energy for your training and be honest with yourself about what times actually work. So I knew it throughout the 5:00 AM time, and I'm gonna show you how that flexed with it. Sometimes at 5:00 AM it just didn't work out. The alarm would go off and my kid had been up because of a nightmare or something during the night. Then yes, if we get pushed through the day, if you're exhausted by 8:00 PM don't tell yourself you're gonna work out after the kids go to bed. That's setting yourself up for failure. You have to look at your energy patterns, your actual commitments, and find the pockets of time that are realistic. One more thing on this is consistency beats intensity every single time. I'd rather you do three 30 minute workouts a week or three 10 minute workouts a week at the same time every week than have you randomly try and squeeze in an hour long session routine matters. Your body responds to patterns. Your mind responds to patterns, but you have to build the habit first, then worry about optimizing everything else. So pick a time, block it out, and don't worry about trying to fit in this exorbitant routine. Show up for yourself in that time. Number two, divide and conquer who's doing what. Okay, let's talk about something that makes people uncomfortable. The division of labor in your health. I see this constantly. Mom's carrying the entire mental and physical load of running a household, managing schedules, doing all the childcare, and then feeling guilty for wanting an hour to themselves to train. So here's something that needs to happen. You need to have an open, honest conversation with your partner about who's covering what and when. And I mean, specific not. You'll help more, not we'll figure it out. And actual detailed conversations about responsibilities. For example, I'm working out a Monday, Wednesday, and Friday it's exam. That means you are on duty, morning duty. Those days you're getting the kids up, handling breakfast and doing drop offs or whatever version of that looks like for your household. The point is clarity, not assumptions, not hoping they'll notice. You'll need support. And here's the thing. This isn't about help. The language matters. When we call it help. We're still positioning childcare and household management as primarily the woman's job. And the partner is just assisting. That is not the case. It is a shared responsibility. These are both of your kids. This is both of your home, and you both deserve time for yourself. I cannot tell you how many women I work with struggle with this, and it's not that their partners aren't unwilling, it's there isn't a clear division of labor or there's guilt around asking. I have been there. I have waited for my. Husband to show up and see I needed help. It did not come until I clearly laid out the uncomfortable conversation, and it was not an accusatory. I want to work out. I have goals for myself. We need to devise a plan because what I saw from my perspective with him. It was not done in any sort of ill intent or, refusal to help me. It was, he always got to work out. He had his time. He would go work out and I know he didn't feel guilty because he told me in this conversation it was, I wanna work out, therefore I'm gonna do this. He would see, I would have the dinner handled, I would have the kids handled and there'd be times the kids would be working out with me. So he just assumed. We both assumed that one of us was going to see us struggle. It wasn't that we weren't unwilling to help each other, but until we had a plan of attack so that we both could show up for ourselves where our responsibilities were clearly outlined, it started to work. I felt better, and that guilt and shame went away. Here's the thing, you cannot pour from an empty cup. You know this, your kids need a mom who's strong, healthy, and mentally resilient, more than they need a mom who sacrificed everything and is running on fumes. Your fitness, your health, your time to take care of yourself, that's what keeps your cup full. If you're a single mom, this conversation is going to look different, but the principle's the same. You need support, whether it's family, friends, or childcare, swap with another parent. You have to build the time and ask for help. Trying to do it all alone isn't strength. It is such a recipe for burnout. Number three, incorporate the kids. Now, here's where we get into the messy middle of mom fitness. Some days your workout is going to include your kids, and that's not failure. That's just reality. I've done stroller workouts where I'm pushing 50 plus pounds up the hill while my kids are throwing snacks at me. I've done playground circuits when I'm doing pull-ups on the monkey bars while my kids are crossing the monkey bars. I've gone for runs with my son riding his bike next to me, stopping every five minutes to look at a cool rock. The fact is it counts. It may not be uninterrupted time, but you are still showing up for yourself. Again, we're dropping perfection here, and this is where I see moms get stuck in a lot of all or nothing trap. If I can't do a real workout, I'm not going to do anything and I get it. I so get it because I too have fought that. You want the time for yourself. You want to focus, you want to train hard, but the reality is, some days incorporating your kids is the only option and you have to be okay with that. I'm not saying you have to be happy with that, but. You have to be okay with the fact that that workout isn't going to be that ideal optimized workout we want. And when you bring your kids in to movement practices, you're teaching them something huge, you're showing them that movement is a normal part of life, that taking care of your body matters. That mom is strong and capable, and that's a lesson they carry with them forever. My kids have grown up seeing me lift, run, and prioritize my health, they ask me if they can work out with me. They come in the gym and they want to get stronger. They talk about how to get stronger, how to move their bodies. They see my husband working out. It didn't happen by accident. It happened because we both, and primarily they saw it from me more because I'm the default parent. Even though we have optimized tasks and we know who's doing what is, they understand the fitness journey, they understand it's a normal part of life. Some days your workout is a family bike ride. Some days it's a living room. Cir out with the kids, climbing on you, doing planks. Been there, done that. Some days it's a walk around the neighborhood that takes twice as long because someone wants to stop and pet every single dog. Trust me, this still happens in my life and I love it. It might not be quiet and it may not be perfect, but it counts because it is doing something. Number four, be okay with missed messy or interrupted workouts. So building on number three here,. Let's normalize something right now. You are going to have workouts that get interrupted. You're going to have days where you had every intention of training, and then someone got sick or a work emergency came up, or you were just so exhausted you couldn't make it happen, and that's okay. You did not fail because you had to stop mid set to wipe a nose or take a phone call or deal with meltdown. You did not fail because life happened and your perfect training plan went out the window. Fitness and motherhood is less about control and more about consistency over time. I cannot say that enough, and I really feel this is where a lot of guilt and frustration comes from. We have this image in our head of what real workouts or real workout team routine should look like. Uninterrupted, focused, intense, perfectly executed, and when the reality doesn't match that we feel like we're failing. But here's the truth. Missing one workout does not undo your progress. Having a week where things are chaotic and you only train once, doesn't erase the work you've put in. What derails you is giving up completely when it wasn't perfect. I have had workouts where I. Got through one exercise before a kid needed me. I've had days where I've planned to lift and ended up doing a 15 minute body weight circuit. I've had entire weeks where the best I could do was take daily walks and prioritize my sleep. And you know what? I'm still here. I'm still strong and I'm still making progress because progress isn't linear. It is not this smooth, upward trajectory where every week is better than the last. It's an up and down, forward, backward, and sometimes just holding steady while life throws everything at you. So give yourself permission to be human. Give yourself permission to have messy workouts. Give yourself permission to miss days without spiraling into guilt or shame. The goal is to keep showing up when you can, not when you are perfect. Number five, work in ranges. There's no one right way. So one of the biggest shifts I try to help my clients make is moving away from the rigid all or nothing thinking. Instead working in ranges. And what I mean by that is instead of thinking I need to work out for 60 minutes, or it doesn't count, start thinking I have a range of 20 to 60 minutes, depending on, what my day looks like. Instead of I have to do this exact workout, think I can work in a range of intensity based on my energy level that day. This is actually how I program for all my clients. We build flexibility from the start. The workout has a target, an ideal version if everything goes smoothly, but it also has modifications for smoother versions and minimum baselines. So let's say the plan is a 45 minute strength session, that's the target, but if you only have 30 minutes. We drop one exercise and adjust the rest periods. If you only have 20 minutes, we do a condensed version focusing on the mainlands. If you have 15 minutes and low energy, we do a body weight circuit and that gets you moving without destroying you. The key is identifying your minimum baseline. That's the least you can do and still feel like you're moving, forward. For some of my clients, that's a 10 minute walk. For others, that's a 15 minute strength circuit, and for some other clients it's stretching and mobility work. The baseline becomes your anchor. When life gets chaotic, when you are exhausted, when everything's falling apart, you can still hit the minimum, and that hitting of the minimum keeps you in the game. It keeps you the habit alive. It prevents you from sliding backwards. That happens when we stop completely. This range based thinking applies to intensity not every workout is going to be maximum effort, nor should it be. Some days you're gonna be pushing hard. Some days you're gonna be maintaining, and some days you're just moving. All of it matters. All of it contributes to your overall success. The goal isn't to hit the perfect workout every single time. The goal is to stay consistent within the range that works in your life, and that range is going to shift based on sleep, stress, schedule, energy, all of it. And that's okay. That's actually how it's supposed to work. Number six, recognize the seasons you're in. This is something I wish someone had told me earlier in my motherhood journey. There are seasons when you're training. There are seasons when your training is gonna take the backseat. And that's not only, okay, it's necessary when you have a newborn who is not sleeping and you're running on two hours of broken sleep and your body is still recovering from birth, that is not the time to be pushing maximum effort in the gym when work is in a crazy season and you're barely keeping your head above water. That's not the time for ambitious training goals. When you're dealing with illness, family stress, major life transitions, those seasons where your fitness might need to shift into maintenance mode, and that's where I want you to understand. Maintenance is not failure. Holding steady is not the same going backwards. In fact, some seasons maintaining is absolutely the best you can do and it's enough during those hard seasons, your priorities shift. Sleep becomes a non-negotiable. Nutrition becomes about fueling your body consistently, not perfection. Movement becomes about daily walks and basic strength maintenance and not PR attempts. These are the pillars that keep you from sliding backwards. You can't train intensely. When you can't train intensely, you protect your sleep. You eat in a way that supports your body. You move daily, even if it's just a walk around the block. Those things matter more than you realize. I have been through seasons where I barely trained, where I was just surviving, and you know what? I came out on the other side, still strong, still capable, still moving forward because I didn't completely stop. I adjusted. I did what I could and I protected the basics. And when that season has passed, when I had more capacity, I ramped back up. And that's how it works. It's not linear, it's cyclical. There are seasons of pushing and seasons of maintaining and seasons of just holding on. The key is recognizing. Which season you're in and being honest about what you can actually have capacity for, not what you wish you had capacity for, not what you think you should be able to handle what actually is realistic right now. Number seven, focus on what you can do, not what you can. This is a mindset shift that changes everything. I see this all the time with moms I work with. It's so easy to focus on the barriers, the lack of time, the exhaustion, the complicated schedules, the kids' needs, the work demands, and yes, all of those are so real. I am not dismissing them. But here's what happens. When you primarily focus on the barriers, your energy and attention go there. You spend so much mental energy on what's in your way that you don't see the small openings that do exist. So instead, I want you to start asking yourself different questions. What's one thing I can do today that supports my health and fitness? Notice I didn't say what perfect workout, can I fit in? Or how do I solve these problems? Just what's one thing? Some days that one thing is a 20 minute workout. Some days it's meal prepping protein, so you have easy options. Some days it's going to be going to bed 30 minutes earlier. Instead of scrolling some days it's saying notice something that would've overextended you. All of those things matter. All of those things move you forward, but you only see them when you shift from what can't. What I can't do to what can I do? This is about energy management. Your energy goes where your attention goes. If you're constantly focused on how hard everything is, it feels impossible. How many obstacles are in your way? That's exhausting. It drains you before you even start. But when you focus on the small things you can control, the actions you can take, the progress you can make in a tough circumstance, that's energizing. That gives you momentum, it reminds you, you are not powerless. I'm not saying ignore real challenges you're facing. I am saying don't let them be the only thing you see, because when barriers become your entire focus, you stop looking for solutions. You stop seeing opportunities, and you convince yourself that nothing is possible, but something is always possible, even if it's small, even if it's not what you originally planned. Focus on that and build from that. Number eight, the battle of staying still. Here's something that doesn't get discussed enough. The hardest part of balancing motherhood and fitness. Isn't actually the workouts, it's not the logistics. It's not even the exhaustion. It's the mental battle, the guilt, the comparison, the voice in your head telling you, you are not doing enough. Not training hard enough, not making enough progress, not being disciplined enough. It's looking at other people, whether it's on social media or in your gym, or just other moms. And feeling like everyone else has it figured out, and you're the only one struggling. It's the feeling you're not doing enough, even when you're doing the absolute best that you can with what you have, that mental battle keeps you stuck. Not the actual circumstances of your life, not the real barriers you're facing, the story you're telling yourself about those barriers and the hardest part, staying still. Mentally or physically staying still is what keeps you trapped. When you get overwhelmed by the gap between where you are and where you wanna be. When you convince yourself that if you can't do it perfectly, you shouldn't do it at all, that's when you stop moving. And when you stop moving, you actually start going backwards. Not because you missed a workout or had a rough week, but because you stopped trying altogether. So here's what I need you to hear. Progress looks different every season. Sometimes progress is hitting new prs in the gym. Sometimes progress is maintaining your strength during a chaotic period. Sometimes progress is just continue to show up when everything in you wants to quit. The goal is to stay in motion even when the steps feel so small, even when it feels like you're barely moving. Even when you look around and you feel like everyone else is sprinting past you, because motion is what matters. Consistency is what matters. Accumulation of small actions over time, that's what builds strong, healthy, capable body and mind, not perfection, not intensity every single day, just staying in motion. If you take nothing else from this episode, I want you to remember this. You don't have to do it all to be doing it right. Motherhood is not the end of your fitness journey. It's not the thing that derailed you or took away your ability to be strong or healthy. It's a chapter with new rules, new challenges, new opportunities to show yourself that you're capable, what you're capable of. Rules are different now. The approach has changed. What worked before may not work now, and that's okay. You adapt, you pivot. You find new ways to make it happen. On days when it feels impossible, when you're exhausted and overwhelmed and wondering if it even matters. Remember that every bit of effort counts, every workout, every walk, every choice to prioritize your health and strength. It's all building something. It's all moving you forward. You're not just training for yourself, you're training so you can be strong, grounded, and capable. For yourself. You're teaching your kids that caring about yourself matters. You're showing them what strength looks like. You're proving to yourself that you can do hard things. So keep showing up, keep adapting, keep moving even when it's messy, even when it's interrupted, even when it's not perfect because you are not failing, you're figuring it out, and that's exactly what you're supposed to be doing. If this resonated with you, share it with another mom who needs to hear it. And remember, we're all in this together. If you have questions about anything in this podcast, message me. I will respond. If you haven't already done so, follow the podcast and I would love for you to rate and review the podcast. Remember, keep moving forward. Every little bit counts. Thank you for tuning in to MilesFromHerView, powered by KatFit Strength. If this podcast inspires you, don't keep it for yourself. Hit follow or subscribe to stay updated on the new episodes, and leave us a review to help more women and moms discover this space. Your feedback fuels this podcast and I'd love to hear what's working for you or what topics you want to dive into Next. You can connect with me on Instagram at KatFit or share this episode. Road with a friend who is ready to embrace her strength. Remember, fitness isn't about perfection. It's about showing up for yourself and finding strength in every step of your journey. Until next time, keep moving forward one mile at a time.