47 Why Strength Isn’t About Shrinking: Ditching Toxic Fitness Narratives for Moms

Welcome back to MilesFromHerView, the podcast powered by KatFit Strength, where we challenge the outdated narratives around motherhood, fitness, and self-worth.

In today’s episode, Kat shares a deeply personal moment from the start line of her 100-mile race—one that solidified her belief that strength isn’t about shrinking but about stepping into more. We’re tackling the toxic messaging that tells moms their bodies are ruined, that fitness is just about bouncing back, and that taking time for themselves is selfish.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
✔️ Why motherhood doesn’t ruin your body—it transforms it
✔️ How to shift your mindset from external validation to internal motivation
✔️ The damaging fitness narratives that keep moms stuck in guilt
✔️ Why strength training is about expansion, not erasure
✔️ How to claim space in your own life—without permission

If you’ve ever struggled with guilt around prioritizing yourself or felt pressured to work out to be a “better mom,” this episode is your wake-up call. You are already enough, and your strength isn’t about proving yourself to anyone but you.

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Transcript

Kat: 0:00

I was standing at the start line of my a hundred mile race nerves buzzing through me when my youngest wrapped his arms around me and said, today, mommy, you are going to run a hundred miles In that moment, I felt it, the external motivation. Sure. But also the deep, undeniable, knowing that I had already done the work to be here, that my drive, my strength, my resilience, those weren't just things I had because I was a mom, an athlete, or a business owner. They were part of who I am and this. Was me owning it. But here's the thing. How often are we told that motherhood is supposed to shrink us? That our bodies are somehow ruined by having kids? That fitness is just a way to make ourselves smaller, to bounce back, to erase the evidence of our experiences. What if I told you that movement, especially strength training, isn't about erasing anything? It's about stepping into more, more power, more confidence. More of you today, we're breaking down the toxic messaging around motherhood, fitness, and self-worth, and why strength is about expansion not to erase. Let's get into it. Welcome to MilesFromHerView, the podcast powered by KatFit Strength, where busy women like you find practical solutions to fuel your fitness journey with authenticity and resilience. I'm Kat, your host, a mom of two active boys, a business owner, and an ultra marathon runner and a strength trainer in her forties with nearly two decades of experience. I'm here to help you cut through the noise of fads, hacks, and quick fixes. This is a space where we celebrate womanhood and motherhood. All while building strength and resilience and reconnecting with you from a place of self-compassion and worthiness. Whether you're lacing up your running shoes to go out for a run, driving your kids to practice or squeezing in a moment for yourself, I'm right here in the trenches with you. Let's dive in. Hey, welcome back. I'm Kat, your host, and if you're new here, I'm so glad you're listening, and if you've been around already for a while, you already know. I love diving deep into conversations with you. Before we get into the topic, I have to say, I've had so many conversations lately with women who feel like prioritizing themselves is some kind of moral failing. Like if they step away from the constant cycle of giving, supporting, managing everything. They're doing something wrong, and I get it. I used to feel that way it just seems like life is so busy that it's hard to figure out when to take time for yourself. And if you wanna take that time to do something of self-interest, and I'm gonna say not just working out, it can feel very guilty of you to do that. I spent years waiting for this permission, waiting for someone to say, yes, you are allowed to do this for yourself. Yes, you can take up space. Yes, you can pursue your own goals outside of motherhood, outside of work, outside of what everyone else needs from you. And at some point I had to realize that no one was coming to give me permission. I had to give it to myself. And that is what today's episode is all about. We're unpacking that guilt, the limiting beliefs in the outdated narratives about motherhood, strength, and self-worth. Because if you're waiting for someone to tell you it's okay to take up space, consider this your sign. So let's get into it. A common marketing pitch I'm seeing out there is aimed at women, and especially moms, is that you need to work out so you can better serve your family. The idea that. Exercising makes you a better mom because it gives you more energy, boosts your confidence, and helps regulate your mood with endorphins and dopamine. And I get it. You know, those benefits are real. They are some of the great byproducts of working out. But the idea, this is where I have a problem with it, the idea. That a woman's primary reason for working out should be to be a better mom. That's where I call, and I'm gonna put it bluntly here, bullshit, because here's the thing, your worth isn't tied to how well you serve others. I train women to be strong. Not just physically, but mentally to step into their power, to own their enoughness and to recognize that they deserve to take up space in the gym on the trails in their own damn lives. I normally don't swear on the podcast, but it might get a little bit dicey. I. Don't apologize because I'm passionate about this. It is something that you deserve to take up Space strength training isn't just about lifting the weights, it's about becoming the kind of woman who trusts herself, who backs herself, and who sees herself. As powerful in her own right. So this whole myth that motherhood ruins your body, it needs to, oh goodness, it just needs to go away. There's this just pervasive damaging message of this. It just ruins your body. And that is so not true that once you've had a kid, you're just supposed to accept that, well, this is my life. My body is supposed to be riddled with aches and pains, or I can never, insert anything that you did prior to having kids that you need to spend the rest of your life trying to shrink it back or erase those changes and fit into some honestly outdated ideal of what you used to be. Let's be clear. Motherhood did not ruin your body, but it transforms it. And the idea that movement and exercise and strength training should be used as punishment to fix something that was never broken is toxic as hell. I. See red when I see this messaging out there, movement is not about restriction. Strength is not about punishment. Fitness is not about erasing the fact that you are a mom. It's about expansion, stepping into everything you are. Building that resilience, the power, and that connection to yourself that goes deeper than aesthetics. It's about proving to yourself that you are more capable than you've ever given yourself credit for. I'm gonna share a little bit more about what I talked about prior to the intro credit. There's this intersection of the external and internal motivation. I caught myself saying to my business bestie, who is also my cousin, that I don't know if I would have run a hundred miles had I not been a mom. Surely. I was always curious about ultra marathons prior to ever thinking I would have children. It was something that piqued my curiosity, but I knew. That I wanted to do it. Now, what changed when I became a mom, that that gets a little bit different. So I knew I needed to train for it, not anyone else, but for me, if I was going to get to that finish line. A hundred miles. I knew I needed to show up for me first. I needed to build my body up so that I could handle the training, and I needed to commit to the process because I wanted it. And then on race day, as I was standing there on that starting line, unprompted, my youngest wrapped his arms around me and said, today, mommy, you are going to run a hundred miles. I was nervous standing on that starting line, not knowing if I was gonna make it to that finish line. I had never run a hundred miles before, and when you train for an ultra marathon, you never get close to the distance you're going to run. It was hard training. There was a lot of balance. There was a lot of questions of like, am I capable of doing this? Do I have the ability, did I train enough? Would I be able to overcome all the obstacles that are going to arise, the pain and the mental fortitude during those a hundred miles. But something really cool in that moment happened, it was the intersection of external and internal motivation. That was his belief in me. But the reason I was even there in the first place was because I believed in myself. My title's mom, athlete coach, they weren't in conflict. They worked in tandem to fuel the woman beneath it all because I at the heart of it was still there. I. There's this guilt about taking up space in your own life, and I see my clients struggle with this. One woman came to me feeling just completely bombarded by the idea that taking time for herself, stepping into her own strength was just selfish. She told me I can't justify asking my partner for help so that I can work out. I should be the one. Holding it all together and being able to get a good workout while my kids are there. So I, I kind of pushed back. I challenged her. I said, what would change if you gave yourself permission to take up space outside of motherhood? What if strength training wasn't just about fitness, but about stepping into the strongest version of yourself? And what if you stopped waiting for permission and started deciding that you. Are already enough without having to prove it to anyone. Over time, she started to shift her mindset. She started realizing that prioritizing her strength, both in and outta the gym, wasn't about taking away from her family. It was about adding to herself. She stopped looking at fitness as something that she had to earn and started seeing it as something she deserved. And I'll tell you something I've learned from years of lifting that the first time you pick up a heavy barbell and you think, there's no way I can lift this, and then you do. That moment changes you strength training isn't just about getting physically stronger. It's about stepping into the new version of yourself. One who stops questioning her own capabilities. It's about proof. Proof you can show up for yourself. Proof you can do hard things. Proof you are not fragile or broken or less than just because your body has been through changes. It rewires the way you see yourself and the more you practice stepping into that power in the gym, the more it bleeds into every part of your life. For me and my business, I work with the women behind the titles. Yes. A lot of my clients are moms, but that is just not the whole picture. They are women first. They are women who had hopes, dreams, and a sense of self before motherhood, and those things still matter. So if you are feeling. You've lost a part of yourself while listening to this, or you've come to this episode because you're like, what is this all about? And you feel like you're waiting for permission to prioritize your own strength, your own goals, your own damn life. I want you to ask yourself these three questions. What did I love before I became a mom? What excites or challenges me now outside my role as a parent? If I took away all the titles for a moment, who am I at the core? Here's the shift I want you to make. You don't need permission to be strong. I. You don't need to earn the right to take up space. You don't need to justify your workouts, your goals by saying, it makes me a better mom. You are already enough and you deserve to be strong because you want it, we have to reframe strength as self-worth. Instead of thinking, I need to work out so I have energy for my kids. Try this. I want to get stronger because I value feeling powerful and capable. Instead of thinking I should exercise because I need to be a good role model. Try this. I deserve to take care of my body because I am worth it. Instead of thinking I have to prioritize my fitness so I can show up better for my family, try this. I am worthy of prioritizing my own strength, my own goals, my own joy, because I am more than just my role as a mom. I know that's a lot of heavy lift. I have been there. I have been that person. Where I felt like I needed permission, I felt like I wasn't worth it to take up space. I wasn't worth it to take up that time. But I'm here to tell you this. When you pursue strength for yourself, the benefits naturally extend to those around you. But the reason you do it should always start with you. So this week I want you to do something for you. Step into your power, take up space, and own that you already are enough, and I'm gonna challenge you one step further. I would love to hear from you. If you do this message, the podcast, you can click on the message button. Message me. I want to celebrate you showing up for you.

13:49

Thank you for tuning in to MilesFromHerView, powered by KatFit Strength. If this podcast inspires you, don't keep it for yourself. Hit follow or subscribe to stay updated on the new episodes, and leave us a review to help more women and moms discover this space. Your feedback fuels this podcast and I'd love to hear what's working for you or what topics you want to dive into Next. You can connect with me on Instagram at KatFit or share this episode. With a friend who is ready to embrace her strength. Remember, fitness isn't about perfection. It's about showing up for yourself and finding strength in every step of your journey. Until next time, keep moving forward one mile at a time.