39- Prioritizing Self-Care: Massage, Movement, and Mindfulness with Kim Wolff

In this episode, Kat sits down with Kim Wolff, Optum Massage and Movement co-owner, to discuss the importance of self-care, self-compassion, and overall wellness. Kim is a licensed massage therapist and certified yoga teacher, passionate about helping people find relief from stress and pain

Get in contact with Kim:
Website: optimalmassage.com

Facebook: facebook.com/optimalwc

IG: @optimalmassageandmovement

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/optimal-massage-and-movement-inc-a7240913/

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Transcript

Kat: 0:00

Welcome to miles from review, the podcast powered by catfit strength, where busy women like you find practical solutions to fuel your fitness journey with authenticity and resilience. I'm Kat your host, a mom of two active boys, a business owner and an ultra marathon runner and a strength trainer in her forties with nearly two decades of experience. I'm here to help you cut through the noise of fads, hacks, and quick fixes. This is a space where we celebrate womanhood and motherhood. All while building strength and resilience and reconnecting with you from a place of self compassion and worthiness. Whether you're lacing up your running shoes to go out for a run, driving your kids to practice or squeezing in a moment for yourself. I'm right here in the trenches with you. Let's dive in. Today we have Kim Wolfe, who is the co owner of Optum Massage and Movement in Westchester, PA. She is dedicated to fostering wellness and self care. Kim is also a licensed massage therapist and a certified yoga teacher committed to helping clients find relief from stress and pain and create balance in their daily lives. With a passion for guiding others on their journey to physical and mental wellbeing, Kim integrates therapeutic massage techniques with mindful yoga practices tailored to each individual. Her goal is to create a healing space where self care and self compassion become a priority and clients learn the tools that they can take with them and create an at home wellness program. Kim is currently taking a break from practicing massage therapy to lead her to lead her business, to teach and be a mom, but you can enjoy her hands on assists during Savasana. Hopefully I said that correctly at the end of her yoga classes and, or schedule Savannah or schedule a private yoga plus massage session with her where you enjoy massage during restorative and yin yoga. Welcome. So welcome to the show. I'm so happy to have you here.

Kim: 2:03

Thank you so much, Kat. I'm excited to be here today.

Kat: 2:07

So, I mean, I know you offline, off of here, but tell everyone how you got to where you are your passion into your business and just kind of how you, like I said, how you arrived to today.

Kim: 2:21

So as a kid, I loved volunteering. I worked at soup kitchens and on a suicide hotline and in hospice and things like that while I was in college. I actually have a bachelor's in social work which is a really holistic career. And I lasted about two minutes at that because it was really stressful. And my plan was to go to graduate school. I really wanted to do therapy with kids and I decided to go to halfway through. I decided to go to massage school instead as a way to help pay for that. And took a little detour, did massage school. And I met my husband who owned Optimal. Before I met him and I just I fell in love with massage therapy. I moved to Westchester and I'm from New Jersey. I moved to Westchester and I just always loved helping people and this became, a less stressful way to help people. There's an immediate gratification that's involved with with giving massage. You know, people come in, they're in pain, they're stressed out, and they leave and they, they, you can just see the, it's a palpable difference. You can see they're just happier. And the stress has been lifted even temporarily, and I, I just love doing that. So I am taking a little break from it right now because we added a movement studio to our space. I'm a yoga teacher as well, and we have other kinds of movement things. But I, I just really love helping people. I love people, helping people improve their health and well being. You know, we live in pretty stressful times, and so I just love Giving people tools that they can that they can use in their regular lives because, you know, let's face it, not everybody can or has the time or, you know monetary means to get a massage all the time. But there are always things that we can do on our own to help make that happen.

Kat: 4:10

Yeah, I love that. And I love the one thing that you have in your bio is like self care and self compassion to be a priority because I think those two both are intertwined. And Massage is one of those where, I mean, I, I love getting massages, but it's, you never think about scheduling that time for yourself. It's, you know, deemed as that luxury piece. But, you know, I'd love to hear your thoughts on like, it is, dare I say, quintessential for your overall health? Just how it can be incorporated in. And like you said, and how it can mitigate stress.

Kim: 4:48

So I, I don't think of massage as a luxury. I know for some people it is. I think it, it is an absolute privilege to be able to. You know, have the means to engage in regular massage. Some people come on their birthdays and anniversaries. It's a special occasion thing. You know, some people for some people, it's really health care. And oftentimes that's what it is for our clients. They are they're coming to us because they have pain. They have stress, whether it's mental or physical. Oftentimes people's jobs are what create the stress on their bodies. Repentance. Motion, you know, when we sit at a desk all day I went from doing massage to doing our marketing full time. And I got to tell you, I, I miss working with my clients and working behind a computer is not any easier. In fact, it's harder in some ways because I'm not moving as much. So I have to be intentional about my movement. Yeah. And so, you know, the,

Kat: 5:50

sorry, go ahead. I was just saying, I don't think people realize how sitting is actually, how intense sitting can be on the body, how it, is even though you're sitting and you're seemingly relaxed, it is, it does have an impact on your joints and overall body.

Kim: 6:08

Yeah. And especially as we age as a, you know, now middle aged or whatever woman I greatly see and feel the impact of that much more so than when I was in my twenties, you know, it's as we get older that whole phrase, you know, if you don't move it, you lose it. And I'm sure you've probably said that in your own. practice. We have to move. And it's there's a saying that came out a few years ago, when smoking became much less when we realized the dangers of smoking and how the impact it had on our health. And when, you know, bars and restaurants and public places were no longer, you know, you were no longer allowed to smoke smoking or sitting became the new smoking. So when you sit for eight hours a day, even if you work out for 60 minutes a day, that 8 hours counteracts that 1 hour. So we have to find time for movement throughout our day. Otherwise, it really can impact our cardiovascular health as well as our muscular and joint health.

Kat: 7:07

Yeah, oh, 100%. I'm big on putting in with clients so it's schedule those walk breaks schedule the different things and by walk breaks It doesn't mean go out for 30 minutes. So that's great, too but it's a one to two minute or even if you don't have a Space to walk just getting up at your desk and focusing on that breath is going to help reduce that stress Increase that circulation I'd love to hear like, you know, one thing that I know I love massage with is helping clear out like Per se. And this may not be the precise terms, but it's like some of that inflammation and really working out, not just making the muscles feel better. I'd love to hear your thoughts around that with with massage.

Kim: 7:49

Well, it's recovery. Massage can help with, so let's take someone who's an athlete or a runner in particular. That's a great example. So massage can help pre race and post race. Pre race, it helps to loosen things up that might have gotten tight prevents, you know, muscle pulls, things like that. And then post race helps the muscles to recover, gets rid of lactic acid and, you know helps to deal with some of the the tension and repetitive motion from, you know, post race. For someone who Who sits at a desk all day, everything gets really, really tight or someone who, you know, drives. It doesn't even just have to be about a desk or driving, you know, anything that's repetitive. Massage can help to decrease inflammation. So massage is actually passive exercise, especially for someone who doesn't exercise on a regular basis. It can be helpful to help get rid of some of the junk that's in the system. And to help Massage helps to improve circulation to the muscles manually. So we use our hands and sometimes tools. We do cupping muscle scraping gua sha as muscle scraping active stretching or client assisted stretching, Thai massage, things of that nature can really help to improve the health of the muscles and joints. We do at Optimal we. My husband and one of our other therapists are orthopedic massage therapists. So they help specifically with helping heal the joints. It's a, you know, chiropractic is like a grade four force. Orthopedic massage doesn't use any force. It's more of a pin and stretch to help the muscles around the joints to heal, thereby helping the joint because it's all connected. We have to, we have to pay attention, not just to the muscles, but everything that's connected to as well.

Kat: 9:34

I love that. I love that. Everything is connected. I know I'm constantly telling that with my clients, you know, helping them when they're going through lifts we may be focused on these muscles, but,, I'm going to take that lift because it is a complex movement there. It's like we are working core, but yes, we're focused on like glutes and hamstrings but it's, everything has to be moving in a certain order so that that alignment is there. And then the breath work that goes into it so that we're not putting pressure in vulnerable areas to make a potentially negative impact may not be felt today, but you do that repetition numerous times. You could. you know, injure the body, so to speak. I'd love to hear. So obviously this is going to be a bit of an ambiguous question, so to speak, but if someone comes in, but they can't see you regularly do you offer, I hate to say tips, but like guidelines, like, Hey, you've come in. We can tell I'm going to use someone who sits in the office all day and then runs around with young kids in the evening like tips on how that they can implement their own self massage self care routine at home.

Kim: 12:00

So I've been, I've been a practicing massage therapist for going on 20 years and I always say, you know, it's great that you come in for a monthly massage or however often you can come in, but it's the things that you do in between your sessions that help to extend the life of that session, extend the benefits of your massage. But even if you're not able to do that, there are definitely things that you can do at home. And my motto is progress, not perfection. If you have five minutes, taking some time to sit and breathe. For someone who's dealing with a lot of stress. If you can add movement, I think that's great. If you have to alternate those things because time is really tight or you have a lot of demands on your life, you know, either kids, a job where I'm seeing now a lot of people are the sandwich generation. They're taking care of small children, and they're taking care of aging parents, and it's really tough to find time for self care. But as a caregiver, you have to take care of yourself because if you're not around, who's going to take care of all the things and all the people, right? So finding Finding five minutes to do, you know, a couple of stretches you know, finding areas that are tight and I can offer specific examples if you like so if somebody has, you know, a tight neck and shoulders doing some, you know, dynamic movements. So can I get up and demonstrate?

Kat: 13:19

Sure. Absolutely.

Kim: 13:22

So, you know, Just doing something like reaching up above your head, you know, and then doing some spinal twisting, just getting that blood flowing, doing some sort of movement, you know, shoulder circles back and forward, giving yourself a nice big hug. stretching out your neck, reaching down, touching your toes so that we're getting close to your toes. So you can stretch out your hamstrings, which affects the low back when you have tight hamstrings, tight glutes. Sometimes we have low back pain because of that. So finding, you know, just five minutes here and there throughout the day. And I always say we don't find the time we make the time we have to create the balance. It doesn't just magically happen. So, you know, maybe that involves asking someone for help, and as women, we're not really that great at doing that because we feel like we have to do it all ourselves, or we do it the best. So, you know, asking for help from someone else, and, you know, they don't necessarily do it the way that, you know, you would like it to be done. You know what? That doesn't matter. It's getting done. And that's what matters. Matters and you don't have to do it so you can take time for yourself, letting go of the idea of what it should look like and just creating something starting somewhere, whether it's five minutes or even one minute and taking three deep breaths. It's amazing what taking three deep breaths will do for your psyche and for your for your attitude.

Kat: 14:53

Yeah, I 100 percent agree. I love what you said there. It's not about finding the time. It's about making the time. Because You're never gonna find the time if you're looking for time because whether or not you have something scheduled on the calendar, you're going to fill it with something. And that's where I stress with my clients is schedule yourself in to your calendar, you know, and it makes a world of difference. And knowing that you have that time set up for yourself, and it doesn't have to be an hour long, you know, and I And I love that you said there, and I see this all the time, it's progress over perfection. It's looking at, you know, one minute, two minute and building on there because that is consistency. And too often I feel we're preached this like intensity and that is what we get. Focused on as consistency where it's about the number of times you show up, not always about the duration. It's getting those reps in and you're going to find that you're going to have a greater capacity to carve out that time and ask for help because it is scary. That is really scary to ask for help, especially when you're like, Oh, what if I have to go back and do it again?

Kim: 16:11

I have been saying for a really long time, even before I became a yoga teacher. So when I went to massage school back in 2004, I also started doing yoga. At the same time, I, I had found a yoga studio close to my house and started practicing. And that's kind of what I did. You know, the beginning of my yoga journey. And when I started practicing massage, you know, I would say to clients, are you, you know, do you have a stretching routine? Are you going to yoga? And they're like, I can't get to a 60 minute yoga class. Nobody said you have to get to a 60 minute yoga class. There are, and especially now with YouTube, there are a million videos. And if you just type in, you know, 10 minute yoga for neck and shoulders, you'll find it. And that 10 minutes will be the best 10 minutes of your day because you took that time for yourself, and it makes you a better person. It makes you, you know, I always say a happy mom is a happy baby or child, you know, a happy family because when mom is usually the center, and when mom is happy, it's a, it's a ripple effect. So how you are impacts the ripple effect. And if you can, you know, find that time for yourself, make that time for yourself you're, you're impacting everyone around you and they're going to be better for it. And you're going to be better for it.

Kat: 17:26

Oh, yeah. A hundred percent.

Kim: 17:27

A hundred percent. Nope. They're the only ones that can take care of ourselves. You know, it's really, it's our responsibility. It's our, it's our, it's necessity that we take care of ourselves as a, as a caregiver. And even as someone who's not a caregiver, like you get one body and if you don't take care of it, you know, where are you going to live?

Kat: 17:47

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And I love that you brought up like the, you know, YouTube resources, because that is It's awesome. I mean, I know I do yoga through there because I'm sure I could probably find the time to get to a class, but not regularly. And for me, it's taking away that barrier. Like this is always at my fingertips. I know I can go in and do this and I'm going to be more apt to do that then, you know, especially if I'm feeling, cause I do yoga, yoga on Sunday and Thursday, that it's like, Thursday's busy during the week and Sunday, sometimes I just want to be at home. Like, I don't want to go out. So like Sunday I did yoga. My dogs actually joined me, tried to kick me off my mat and I was like, get away. But it's like, it's. Less there's less barriers for me to stand in the way to not go because I don't think I would always go if it was out of my house and there are some really like your yoga studio. That's really great. You have a beautiful space that is warm and inviting. I will say if anyone wants to check it out. It is very lovely space that, you know, that can be sometimes just taking away those barriers to get there is something at your fingertips.

Kim: 18:56

As a yoga teacher, that's what I often do. You know, I don't, I don't often, I try to make the time. I definitely try to practice what I preach. I went to a yoga class yesterday. And it was great, but sometimes, you know, 10 minutes in the morning is what I need to get my day started, to work out the kinks from the week before or whatever. And, you know, to, To create that sense of balance and peace so that I can go through my work day and, you know, maybe I do something at night, too, or, you know, I schedule the other thing that you mentioned was scheduling time for yourself. And I do think that that is a really great practice. And if you have the resources and the time to, like, look at your schedule, and I prefer not to wait till the weekend. I try to look at my schedule on Friday for the coming week. Because by the time Sunday comes, I'm like, Pulling my hair out, trying to figure out how all the things are going to happen. I need to start on Friday, you know, do my meal planning and whatever, and like figure out when I'm going to the gym or, you know, when I'm going to do yoga, when I can look at the weather, when can I go for a walk? Cause that's really, you know, being outside to me is really important as well. I spend way too much time in front of a computer and, and inside. So Finding, you know, 15, 30 minutes or whenever, however often I can however much time I can to be outside is really important for both physical and mental health.

Kat: 20:20

Yeah. I love that. I love that you planned it out on Friday. Cause that's my day too. I plan out like the whole next week on Friday. Cause like you said, so many things happen in the weekend and you know, I find it easier to plug all the other things that arise over the weekend and Sunday I'm like, all right, it's time to get focused for the week. And the other thing I would say, and I would encourage anybody out there is, and I can speak from experience, is you know, your kids are going to model what you show them. And it was hard for me to do workouts or yoga around my kids because you get the interruptions. And this is kind of that internal perfection versus just progress struggle that we have where and I was just thinking this weekend when I was doing yoga and I had the dogs interrupting me, my younger son joined me. He's like, ah. I can use some yoga and he just jumped right in. And, you know, it wasn't that like, come do yoga with me. And oftentimes I see my kids will just join me in the gym where they'll join my husband and I in different things because it's part of the environment versus, you know, a must do for them. It's just, they see. mom and dad taking care of themselves. And it's not the stigma of, I have to fix myself or it's a chore. It's a, okay, I need to move my body because in, and this goes into that self compassion of this is my only space to live. And this helps me function as a whole. And the brilliant side effects of it are, muscle growth, all the other fun health things that do come along with it.

Kim: 22:01

I don't know how how your parents modeled health, but mine were not the best. And so I grew up thinking that taking care of myself was selfish, you know, and I, I, I don't like that word. Because taking care of yourself is a necessity. It is self preservation. And The opposite of taking care of yourself, to me, is illness and disease, and You know, my plan is to be here for a long time to be here for my kids and hopefully grandkids and but to be healthy in the process and, you know, as, as pain free as possible. So, you know, to me, the only way to achieve that is to practice it on a regular basis. And I want my kids to see that I want them to grow up thinking that, you know, I mean, I'm a mom, I'm a business owner. And, you know, I want my daughter to know that she can do all of those things. She can, you know, she can stay home if she wants, or she can work and have a, you know, successful, fulfilling career that, you know, feeds a purpose for her. And she can take care of herself, too. Like, she doesn't have to choose. And for my son to be raised with, you know, You know, the same idea. My husband, you know, works out regularly. We have a gym in our basement and my son works out with him. So he's being raised with this idea. And particularly nowadays the connection between physical and mental health is so key. I'm I see it with both my kids and with their friends, you know, they are just happier and they they're happier people. When they move their body on a regular basis, they're, you know, they get better sleep, they eat better just in general, they're healthier when they move their bodies more regularly.

Kat: 23:45

Yeah. Oh, 100%. I, I see that with my kids and I love it when they are they self monitor themselves with any devices and are like, all right, I need to move my body. I need to go get up. I need to refresh or, or they ask like, Hey, you know, you know. Both of us being in southeastern Pennsylvania, we are blessed with gorgeous outdoor spaces that are very accessible and it's like, they're like, Mom, can we go on a hike? Mom, can we go? And it's like, absolutely because it is get outside. There is such a strong connection with the positive mental health aspects of getting out. into a natural environment if possible. And I do understand it's not accessible for everybody to get into an outdoor space where there's more trees and open fields. But getting out, you know, and closest thing to Philadelphia, which I love. It's a very gorgeous spaces. The Wissahickon Park down in Philadelphia is a really good green space. And then further out, we are blessed with Lots of preserved land. But yeah, getting out and walking and it doesn't have to be like a super formal, like we're going for an X amount of time. Sometimes just being out and enjoying and soaking in the sounds and the sights around you and feeling the sun on your face is going to really get that. restorative health back to you. That is missing. I'm going to say in that nine to five hustle of that Monday through Friday work week. And it's, it's just kind of fun. It's like, just get out, kind of, so to speak, let your hair down and just enjoy the sights and sounds around you.

Kim: 25:14

Definitely, I did a a presentation for Unite for Her earlier this year, and there was a, a guy there who was a therap, a talk therapist, but he did something called Ecotherapy where he would walk outside with his clients in nature. And it was a whole, you know, it was a whole thing. And I was like, yes, this is, we need more of this. But even just, you know, as a family getting outside and being together in nature or, you know, I like going outside by myself. I'm putting ear pods in and listening to something and just being in the fresh air, having the sun on my face. Any and all of those things are wonderful options for self care.

Kat: 25:53

Yeah, I love that. I love that. Now, going back to a little bit of massage do you recommend any other like In home tools like massage guns. I know they, I think they're still pretty popular. I know you mentioned like scraping those things. Do you recommend them or see a purpose for them?

Kim: 26:11

You know, we have a massage gun and I, I don't really use that. I think my husband has, I have this guy over here. So this is a theracane, and it looks like a tortured face, but you can see it has these little like knobs on the end but it's great, I don't know, so it's really great for getting into like tight trap muscles, into the rotator cuffs into the occiput, the bottom of the base of the, the neck here You know, you can use it in the low back. It's not a replacement for a massage, but it definitely helps, you know, if you've got something tight that is preventing you from moving. I, I learned how to give a better massage by working on myself to learn how to like target the muscle. You know, couples massage is a thing. Teaching couples how to massage each other is a really lovely way to create a different kind of intimacy and also you know, to help in between sessions. So that's a service that I plan on offering at some point in the future. Now that we have the space for it. So this is 1 idea. We also at the office, we sell lacrosse balls. Lacrosse balls are a great way to target muscles. I like them better than a foam roller. Foam roller is great, too. But I like lacrosse ball because it's a little bit more it's smaller and you can fit it in places where a myofascial roller won't necessarily isn't easy to target. I also like this guy. So this is great to put. to lay on and you can start at the base of the skull and then work your way down to the sacrum just using small side to side or up and down movements.

Kat: 27:46

Yeah, I love those. I have I don't have something as formal as yours, but I have these, it's like a similar to a lacrosse ball, but there's a mesh bag that comes in and it holds them and I can do that. through the neck rolling down. I have all sorts of the tennis ball, the lacrosse ball. The other thing that I have, I love the massage roller, sorry, excuse me, the foam roller. But to your point, sometimes I just feel like it doesn't get In all the way to the muscles. Like it does good, broad, nice rolling. And sometimes if I might be a little sore, I like to start there. It's just kind of light move in before I go to areas that might need a little bit more attention. But have you ever heard it? It's all the way in the gym, so I won't grab it, but like the stick has a little like rolling novel. It's like shorter and you can kind of.

Kim: 28:32

I have one in my other room, too. Think those are great. For the legs that can be really, you know, I mean, there's foam rollers that have that are more textured that are a little bit more intense. The stick that has the, the different little knobbies on it, you know, that can be used as well. Like, on the, I think it's greater than. Quads. And like around the IT band. It's great. It's a little harder to use on the back, but, but I think for the legs, that's great. I also love I don't have one close by, but I have a little ball that has little nubs on it. That's great for the feet. So if anybody has foot issues, plantar fasciitis. Or just, you know, they're on their feet all the time. You, rolling out their feet is a great way to to help relieve some of those tight muscles. And, and plantar fasciitis actually comes from having tight calves. So, you know, working on the calves can help with plantar fasciitis. So focusing on that lower leg, using a golf ball or a little nubby ball Gaia I don't remember the exact name of it, but that's what I, I've, I've dealt with plantar fasciitis a few times over the years and it's not fun but having that self care at home is, you know, I've done, I've done acupuncture, I've done massage, and those definitely help, but having a regular at home self care program is usually what alleviates the plantar fasciitis for me.

Kat: 29:55

Yeah. Oh yeah. And that's, I'm glad you pointed out like plantar fasciitis, even though the pain is, I'm gonna say localized in the bottom of the foot, it comes from that calf and it's, your calves get so tight when sitting, when wearing heels, when, you know, there's a lot of different things that can cause immobility in those calves, which create that additional tightness. And so we need to get in there and loosen that up. I always, When I get calf massages, it's like when they get in, I'm like, yes, I'm like, get those calves. And even if you wear there's trying to think of a brand like vibrant barefoot or, you know, those are great and they're going to help get more movement in the lower part of the muscle, the leg, but they're, Not the end all be all. He still need that like additional work to help properly warm up, to stretch, to, you know, have that all around care for the body.

Kim: 30:47

Yeah, I think, you know the thing that often happens is we adapt to our pain. We adapt to how our bodies feel and it just becomes, you know, that new normal. And then we go to work. Yoga class or we get a massage, and it's like, Oh, this is what it's supposed to feel like. Yes. So do having that self care, you know, practice can go a long way to making you feel better. But there's also, you know, something that we haven't touched on is this idea of stress. So, you know, stress isn't going anywhere. People will say, Oh, we shouldn't have so much stress. You know, it, it stress isn't going anywhere. It's how we deal with it that makes the most difference. And I have found that since I started teaching yoga, like there's that expression, you know, go with the flow. I definitely am much more patient. I don't let things bother me the same way that I used to. And it's because I can you know, find that calm in the chaos. The chaos is always going to be there. But it's what we do, With it, how we react or don't react makes the biggest difference. So, you know, instead of reacting, if you can find that time to just, I don't know if it sounds hokey or Like, not realistic, but it's, it's a practice, you know, we call it a practice for a reason because it takes time to create that habit and whether it's a minute or five minutes or, you know, however much time you can give to it and it changes like as a mom, you know, my self care practice looks very different now than it did when my kids were babies. I remember, you know, Trying to get into a routine with going to the gym and then bam, somebody would get sick, you know, or I would get hurt or something would happen. I'd have to, you know, my husband would need me to do something or the office would need me. I'd have to fill in for somebody there, whatever the reason. And it's like, okay, you know, and I would let it, I would let it get in the way of, you know, every day is a new opportunity to, to do it. Better to and to continue to practice. Cause you're worth it.

Kat: 32:54

Oh yeah. A hundred percent. A hundred percent. And, and kids don't stay little forever. I think that's the toughest time because they just need so much from you. And I always say, if you can get through those early years and start to lay that foundation and prioritizing yourself. And this is where I love when I work with clients with younger kids is like, it won't always be easy. As far as finding the time, but where simple comes is you will be better at prioritizing yourself. And I think hands down, that is massive. It's, I mean, I struggle to prioritize myself when my kids were little. I mean, when you were saying like, yeah, something would happen. I'm like, Oh gosh, the number of times something would happen. And the years I spent Not being compassionate towards myself and meeting myself where I was at and understanding that I was showing up at full capacity and doing everything possible versus kind of holding myself to this unobtainable idea. It was like, as soon as I kind of got that and clicked, it was like, Okay, I saw much better progress with my own workouts, with my own, just being able to show up better because I wasn't working against myself and holding myself to this unrealistic notion. And really it's stripping away and focusing on the progress versus that perfection of like, just, it shouldn't be this way. I should be really this way. And it's like, you could should yourself forever. And that's not how it's going to help. So.

Kim: 34:27

Don't show it all over yourself. Exactly.

Kat: 34:30

Exactly.

Kim: 34:31

I think when my kids were younger. When, when my kids were younger, I had this all or nothing mentality. You know, if I can't do a 60 minute class that I'm not going at all, or if I can't do exactly, you know, the picture in my mind, then I'm not going to do it. And that shifted over time. And, you know, as my kids got older and I got busier I shifted from doing 60 minute workouts to 30 minute workouts more, more frequently. And that became, you know, a better fit for me. You know, now I do less intensity. I do, you know, I weightlift I do yoga and I walk and I'm less focused on cardio at the stage that I'm in. Like, walking is my cardio. Yoga, a more intense yoga practice, that's my cardio because that's where I, that's where I'm at in life. When I was younger, it was all about running and, you know, pushing myself as hard as I possibly could. You know, you have to find, I think that's the other thing is like finding the thing that you know you're going to do, because if you, if you say, Oh, I should do, you know, X, Y, and Z, but you don't enjoy it, you're not going to do it. So finding the thing that, you know, Finding the thing that sparks joy, finding the thing that and for me, it's about having a community, it's about having some accountability, I'm not somebody that can really work out at home, I mean, I can, but I'm not as motivated to do that, so it's easier for me to go someplace and be with other people, even if I never talk to them, it's just the energy that comes from being around other people and having to sign up for a class and, you know, paying for it, there's value to that.

Kat: 36:04

Yeah. Yeah.

Kim: 36:06

To me, that's, that's how I hold myself accountable.

Kat: 36:09

Yeah. And I love that. And I, I would say just to give the other side, I'm kind of the opposite and it doesn't mean I don't like working out with people, it's just for me. And then I loved, like I was on an athletic team in college and it was like, they are some of my favorites. Best friends and all of that. And like, you know, I will, you know, run with other people, but it's like, for me, sometimes I'm like, I just want to put my head down. I don't want to deal with anyone in any, anything. It's like, I want to get a workout in and it is, you know, and I think there's nothing wrong with either. There's no right way. It's. What gets you to show up? And I think that is the biggest thing. I, I get questions a lot, well, should I be doing this? Or what's the best way? And it's like you said, you have to uncover that for you, no one can tell you.'cause I do see a lot of. People are like, Oh, I did this for years and I just suffered through it. I was like, why, if you hated the way, like that type of workout, why did you keep suffering through it? There is a better way. And there's so many different ways to move your body. So many different ways to build strength and maintain strength and find that inner peace and more enriching way of living because. Like, as you said earlier, like you are worth it, you are worth the time, and this is the only body we have in place to live on, on the, while we're on the space of the earth.

Kim: 37:36

Something that you said sparked something in me. So, you know, movement is definitely important, but taking time to rest is also really important. And Thanks. You know, doing doing nothing and being okay with it I think is undervalued and underrated. And it looks different for everybody for, you know, for me, I think it's really important to find, you know, whether it's at home or in a group setting, find a place where you can reset your nervous system. So you know, doing. You know, we have sound healing at our studio. Sound healing is an amazing, you know modality where you're literally just laying or sitting in a comfortable position as the practitioners playing sound bowls, there's something so healing and that it's scientifically, you know I won't say proven, but there's scientific evidence to connect healing with sound. I mean, music in general is, I think, very healing and on different levels. You know, finding, finding space and time to meditate and meditation isn't just clearing your mind. It's, you know, acknowledging your thoughts, sending them on their way. It's finding time to sit and You know, for me, it's not silence for me. It's using a guided meditation app. I love insight timer. Because there's like so many different ways to to listen to meditation, whether it's a sound healing or a yoga nidra, which is yogic sleep. So you're, you know, basically laying in Shavasana final resting pose while someone is, guiding you through a meditation. It's extremely restorative. So finding, finding pockets of time, whether it's once a month or once a week, or, you know, whatever your time allows, if it's 15 minutes at home, I sometimes will take a nap in the middle of the day and I I will put on a meditation and lay on my floor with a bolster under my knees and, you know, take 15 minutes to just rest. And then the rest of my day goes so much better because I'm not dragging. You know, myself around, I can't have coffee in the afternoon. It doesn't agree with me. And caffeine as we get older is not the best anyway. But finding that time to, you know, close my eyes for a few minutes is so restorative.

Kat: 39:57

Yeah. Oh, I a hundred percent agree. And I'm glad you brought that up because it is, rest is so underrated. And like you said that 15 minute, you know, relax, you know, laying down or taking that time. I find. that I'm more productive. And it isn't about, and I just want to preface it. It isn't about always being more productive, but your body needs that rest. So when I say like, when I'm working and I'm like, Oh, I just finished this task, but I feel tired. If I take five minutes or whatever the duration is to unplug. I have more clarity and I'm more effective and efficient with that task at hand. So, you know, I too, I don't drink caffeine in the afternoon. I'll have a cup of coffee in the morning. Sporadically I will find it does wake me up or it's harder for me to fall asleep at night. And so it is one of those where I don't want to grab that caffeine. And even if you don't notice sleep interruptions with that caffeine during your night hours there, you're not able to get as great a sleep in those sleep cycles with the caffeine in your system. So I kind of argue, even if you don't feel like you're affected by it, if your body is, or your mind, or you're feeling that fatigue and that mental just like I kind of say acquitted to a car that's just trying to turn over. It won't turn over. And you're just kind of stocking, you're like, Oh, let me grab the caffeine. Maybe that's the time your body's saying, Hey, we need to unplug. We need to quote unquote power down for a moment. And then we can come back stronger or, you know, and I totally get, not everyone has the liberty to step away on their own accord when they're working. So speak that nine to five, but if you can, that's. That's huge. And if you're with kids, little kids all day, it can be draining. I have been there, you know. But, and that's where I would put on, like, when, depending on the ages of my kids, be like, okay, we're going to do, I can't even remember it was on Netflix and it was like this kid meditative thing. And it was like the best thing ever. And I'd be like, we're going to lay on the ground and we're just going to see who can be the stillest person ever. And it was just this great way for me when I was starting to get frazzled or tired. to kind of get that decompression when my kids weren't napping or, you know, I couldn't just be like going up to bed, enjoy yourselves, you know, you're a four and two, watch yourselves. So, you know, I think there are ways that we can kind of create that little power down time for ourselves to give back, because as you said earlier, there's There's nobody that's going to do that for us, or, you know, and so if we can tune in to those signs, it's going to help us overall. So we're not overly stressed. Our nervous system isn't overly frazzled which is going to attribute to keeping us, the stress levels higher. So even, you know, you're not going to get as great results. It's not going to be as great quality or great losing the work. When you get a massage, when you get those things, if you're still frazzled at the end of it, you know, you're going to, it's not going to last as long.

Kim: 43:19

And that brings me to another another talking point is that oftentimes people will say, Oh, I don't have the time to get a massage. You know, they're so frazzled. And so, you know, running from this thing to that thing, to the other thing I've had clients come out and say, you know, I have so much. Greater mental clarity, you know, I always knew that from a physical standpoint, it helped. But from a mental standpoint, well, and there's that mind body connection again you know, it, it really helps to take that. That feeling of carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, it lifts it from a physical sense, but also from a mental sense. So taking that time to, it's a gift that we give ourselves. You know, allowing ourselves to be taken care of, allowing ourselves to let someone else do the work. You know, I think going to yoga is great or finding movement. Self care is great, but allowing someone else to do the work for you and literally being taken care of is, you know, I know that it can sound indulgent but it's so I mean, I think it's necessary. There's nothing, there's just nothing quite like it in my, in my opinion. And I get like, not everybody likes to be touched. Not everybody likes to but there's always Reiki as well. And in Reiki. You don't have to be touched. You can receive the treatment above the body that the person doesn't actually have to touch you. And that can, you know, for some people that is extremely restorative, just, just allowing yourself to be taken care of to be nurtured, you know, when you're the person that is doing that for everyone else. And I think it's hard. It's hard to set that time aside. It's hard to make that time. But the rewards are, and are so great.

Kat: 45:11

Yeah, I full heartedly,

Kim: 45:13

you know, a, you know, this Saturday you know, I, I look at it like it's a doctor's appointment. You know, it's an appointment with myself that I don't cancel. I I mean, I try not to things, you know, some sometimes things come up. I would always schedule a massage appointment on my birthday when my kids Kids were little and then there would be a snowstorm or, you know, and it's like, well, what are you going to do so, you know, but, you know, allowing, allowing you to have that time because there's so many health benefits to massage that I think, you know, it's, it's worth not just the investment of time, but investment of money as well.

Kat: 45:52

Yeah, a hundred percent agree. I always asked when my kids were little and even now I'd be like Christmas birthday or Mother's Day I'd be like massage Massage is what I want and it was awesome and my Husband wasn't always a big believer. He was supporter in you know, me getting massages and now he's like I'm gonna say he drank the Kool Aid and he See, Hind massages because he's like I don't feel stressed. And then when he's gotten one, he's like, oh wow. I didn't realize I was 10 and shoulders. They're like carrying stress in different areas. And I will say like a couple of crazy to say a little, almost a month, over a month ago we had a wedding out in California and they had a spa at the hotel. And I was like, you know what? We should just book a couple's massage. We've been going nonstop, even though we don't feel overly frazzled or nothing negative has been impacting us. It's just the busyness of life. Let's just book it. book a massage and do that. So we booked a couple's massage and with that we got to sit by the spa pool and the San Diego warm sun and we're just sitting there and we both were like we didn't realize how much we needed that just stop standstill time and that give back to the body that oh my goodness it lasted that feeling of just like giving back to the body and that inner I don't know, I call that core relaxation just lasted for weeks. And it, you know, yes, it was an investment, but it was something that a, you know, that a dinner out or anything else couldn't give back to us that way. And it was so amazing. Like we still talk, we're like, yep, I think that's our thing. Like, we don't always have to get away to get it, but like, that is something we want to keep incorporating in because. It's not only just the health benefits, but just the mental health benefits are huge to just help clear and get that complete relaxation.

Kim: 47:56

And when you're doing it together, it's a lovely way to connect.

Kat: 48:00

Yeah, it was, it was fun. At first, like, I think that was like our third time. Fourth or fifth one together. And it can be sometimes like when you're both on the tables in the same room, like, Oh, is his massage going well? Like you could be thinking about it. I've gotten to the point where I'm like, whatever, he doesn't have a great massage. I'm going to enjoy mine.

48:20

Exactly.

Kat: 48:22

I'll say I'm very, you said this much earlier. But I'm intrigued about. The future offering of training couples to massage because I think that is something I mean, one, I'll definitely sign up for it with my husband. I'll sign him up because I think that is really helpful. I know there are times where I'm like, Oh, you know, I chronically get tight in the neck and shoulders. So oftentimes it's with more life stress. So I'll be like, can you just work on my neck and shoulders? And he's willing to, but sometimes I'm like, Oh my goodness, you're applying too much pressure or, you know, so it's just like, I think that I'm excited for that future offering. So yeah, I think that is very vital.

Kim: 49:06

Awesome. Awesome. Yeah, it's a really, it's a nice workshop. I've done it with with yoga and massage. So that's a possibility as well. You know, the opportunity of, you know, a 1 on 1 session with the 2 of you and And just me, that's a possibility, a way to find connection in another way, find intimacy in another way, like touch is just so important on so many levels that we need touch for for survival, obviously to You know, to connect with our fellow humans, with with our spouses, with our kids, you know, pediatric massage is also something that we do. And that's also on our radars, teaching parents how to massage their kids. Because that's something that I think is really vital. I learned infant massage earlier on in my career, but it's not something that I ever really, other things kind of took Priority, but that's certainly something that we could potentially offer in the future infant massage is amazing to start when they're babies. You know, there's so many and we just. It for our kids. There's so many wonderful benefits. In fact, my kids went through a time where you know, we massage them as babies and then as toddlers, they were like a little ticklish. So, you know, my son, when he was, I'd say around 2, 2, I can't remember if my daughter was born yet or not. Maybe it was before he was 2. We had watched TV at night. You know, before bed and I would start massaging his feet and at first he didn't like it and then he started sticking his foot. It's like massage my foot, you know and then they went through a stage where they didn't really want massage. And now that they're teenagers. My son gets cupped regularly. He prefers cupping over regular massage. My daughter likes both. And it, you know, it's. It's really, really wonderful. They care, you know, middle school and, you know, high school. Our middle school in particular is pretty rough and the, the stress that's involved with just navigating it. So, you know, being able to, I feel really blessed to have these tools that I can, you know, I have a massage table at home that I can use, you know, my husband and I can use to, to help. to help them. But anyway, I digress. So we have two or three massage therapists at Optimal that are pediatric trained. And so, you know, the idea is to have a workshop for parents, where they can learn how to work with their kids. And there are so many kids that are neurodivergent and massage can really, really help calm their nervous system. So we're talking. ADHD, ADHD, autism spectrum in particular, those are the top three that come to mind and massage can be super beneficial for, for those types of kids.

Kat: 51:51

Yeah, I will wholeheartedly agree with that. My youngest had had sensory processing disorder and is autistic and very early on, like for the sensory diet, getting in and doing massage and doing different like that is one thing that really connected with him. He was also a NICU baby. And in there, they were talking about like, touch is really quintessential for pretty much for our babies. Obviously not too much touch. There's an appropriate amount just because that can cause more stress and burn more calories and like and they want to keep the weight on babies. But yeah, for him, he's very big. Like he has developed a really good sense of when he's feeling dysregulated and when he needs You know, either massage or like a brushing technique or taking a softer ball and doing deep roll down to help regulate his central nervous system. And it is, it's been kind of cool because it's dare I say, quote unquote, rubbed off on my older son where he's gotten into like different things like that. And then like, Oh, this helps me. And, you know, it, it has deepened my understanding more of like, why massage is great and how it can really help the central nervous system. Because if your central nervous system is really fried and running and stressed, you can work out, you can walk, you can do all these great things. You can get enough sleep, but you're never going to get the full benefits of it until you regulate that nervous system because it just is going to keep running. And you're going to feel this like. You know, some clients describe it to me as like a hum in their body or a different thing. And you need to get that regulated. It's never going to be homeostasis. We don't want anything in our body to be homeostasis, but like it needs to be running more smoothly.

Kim: 53:37

Yeah. And I think for kids, it's easy to get overstimulated. So having the tools, you know, as parents, it's, you know, I, I just, in the last couple of years have really come to understand what that even means. You know, I'm, I'm an extrovert and introvert, which I guess is known as an ambivert. Now you know, I like being around people, but I, I definitely have times where I need to, you know, just go within, whether that's reading a book or, you know, Watching watching TV by myself or just being by myself where no one's talking to me. No one's, you know, needing something from me And you know, I like both but you know recharging when you're with people all the time it can really drain your battery and You know for kids who have sensory processing, you know noise can be so overstimulating So having some, having different, you know, mindfulness techniques or massage techniques that help even using temperature cold can be really, really helpful to stop that sensible or overstimulation, or if someone's having, you know, I don't know what the clinical term for it is, but like a meltdown where they're, they're just not able to either express their needs or, you know, to, to function. Cold can really help to stop that cycle and bring them back, so to speak. It's one tool anyway.

Kat: 55:06

Yeah. Yeah. No, I love that. This has been so great. And there's so many topics we still haven't gone into about. It is such a broad thing. And I will say, you know, If well, I'll ask you the question. So if someone's because I get, you know, it's a financial investment and not only just with time, but how often would you or the least amount would you recommend someone getting a massage?

Kim: 55:34

You know, it's different for everybody. Everybody is different. We see people that have chronic issues and then people who, you know, take really good care of themselves and they just need, you know, maintenance, you know, I think of the body is like being a car. You know, regular maintenance is really important. So, you know, we see we have clients that come in twice a week. We have some who come in once a week, some who come in every other optimally, pardon the pun I think every four to six weeks is every four to six week, six weeks is a good schedule. But as often as possible, you know, if that means coming in once a quarter, that's once a quarter, that's, you know, that's time that, you know, goes towards taking care of yourself and having that at home program or coming for yoga, you know, we also do. So I, I think, I think you read in my bio that I do the yoga and massage. So we have yoga and massage classes at optimal monthly, every other month. So the yoga teacher puts you into yoga into a yoga pose, usually restorative or again, and then 2 of us come around and to. Okay. Hands on work massage while you're in a yoga pose. So that's an an alternate way to, you know, if someone can't afford to come in as often. We, right now, we charge 90 minute class. You're in a group setting but it's also a great way for someone who has dealt with a lot of trauma, who feels safer with other people around. That's a good way for them to experience massage as well. They're fully clothed and in a group setting, maybe they come with a friend or a mom or a sister, whatever.

Kat: 57:12

Yeah, I like that. I like that. This is awesome. Where can people find you and find more about Optimal Massage and Wellness?

Kim: 57:20

So we have a website, OptimalMassage. com we're located at, and going back to the website, you can schedule from there both movement and massage sessions. If someone's coming in with someone else, so like a couple's massage they need to call the office and also if they're using a gift card, they need to call the office and we do offer gift cards as well. And we have packages and all that pricing information is on the website. We're located at 780 Miles Road in Westchester. We're right in front of the CHOP Primary Care, right off of 322.

Kat: 57:51

Awesome. Awesome. I love that. This has been so great and I'm sure we'll have to have you back so we can cover a lot more. More topics about massage yoga, because we're just scratching the surface. So, but awesome. Thank you so much for coming on.

Kim: 58:03

Thank you so much for having me, Kat. I appreciate it. And I look forward to next time.

Kat: 58:07

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