27- Taming the Overwhelm: ADHD, Parenting, and the Power of Self-Care

In this episode, we dive into the reality of parenting pressures, perfectionism, and self-care. Join us as we discuss the impact of social media on parental self-worth, the hidden signs of ADHD in women, and how high-achieving moms can balance their mental health, manage stress, and prioritize their well-being—all while embracing a more flexible and compassionate mindset.

Key Topics Covered

• Social Media & Self-Worth: How to navigate online spaces without falling into comparison traps, recognize content that supports your parenting journey, and trust your instincts.
• ADHD Awareness: Differences in ADHD symptoms in women and signs to watch for, especially if overwhelm and low energy impact your daily life.
• Overeating & Stress: Reframing overeating as a coping response to stress and the importance of mental health support to address these cycles.
• Perfectionism & Self-Care: The power of “good enough,” recognizing your limits, and small daily self-care habits that make a big impact.

Takeaways
Self-compassion and self-care aren’t just luxuries; they’re essential for managing life’s challenges and showing up fully for your family and yourself.

Call to Action
Connect with Avery Wasmansky on her website or social media for more insights, tools, and support: 
https://www.instagram.com/averywasmanskilpc/ https://www.facebook.com/averywasmanskilpc https://www.averywasmanskilpctherapy.com/

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Transcript

Kat: 0:03

Welcome to miles from her view, the podcast, where we dive deep into the unfiltered reality of fitness, strength, training, and nutrition within womanhood and motherhood. I am your host, Kat founder of Kat the strength. I'm a career strength and conditioning coach, entrepreneur, lifelong athlete, and a mom of two. In each episode, we explore the unique challenges and triumphs faced by women navigating the complexities of life. From juggling family and career to prioritizing self care. We dissect the systems and the habits that shape our health and wellness. Join us for real stories, authentic advice, and genuine conversations as we empower each other to embrace our journeys and find strength in vulnerability. Welcome back today. I'm with Avery Wasmansky. she is a licensed trauma informed therapist who works with women and moms who feel like they are chronically overwhelmed and feel like they are not good enough in the parenting and their parenting or relationships. Many of the women Avery supports experience some combinations of symptoms of ADHD, anxiety, and trauma. Avery incorporates mindfulness and other somatic techniques in her therapy, while always focusing on the relationship between client and relationship between client and therapist as a primary tool for healing and change. She sees clients both virtually in all of Pennsylvania and in person. In Morris for Pennsylvania. Welcome to the show. I'm so excited to dive into this conversation, but first let's really get to know you, how you got to where you are and how you got working in this field.

AVery: 1:42

Thanks for having me Kat. Yeah, so like you said, I'm a therapist in Pennsylvania. I got into this field actually not working with adults. They started working with kids and then went into some supervisory roles in community mental health. And then I was really missing the clinical aspect of my work in terms of working with, you know, people one on one. And I got back into working with clients, being adults for the first time individually. And I was like, wow, this is where I could be. So I have two kids myself and so through my own parenting journey, my own therapy journey you know handling my own stuff that comes up for me. I've really kind of honed in on my niche of really enjoying working with women, especially moms. Many of them tend to, like, have either symptoms of ADHD or have ADHD or have come to me after years of maybe, like, just, and I put that in air quotes, just being diagnosed with, like, anxiety or depression and really there's, like, an underlying piece of ADHD going on that, like, has never been addressed, and so I really enjoy working with that population, and I myself was diagnosed with ADHD after my second baby, and so I also have that lived experience of, like, understanding what that is like, and, and kind of the struggles that can come up for moms. Yeah,

Kat: 3:04

yeah, definitely. And I find with the female population as a whole and, and again, this is a generalization, but diagnosing ADHD looks so different than diagnosing ADHD from a male or boy or male perspective. And the other thing and. This comes a little later in life. The one thing that I don't want to say it's trending, but research is showing that when women start in the, it's not all women, but in that perimenopause ADH symptoms, or that diagnosis can really come into play. And I, I myself, I, after my second child, I had postpartum PTSD and dealt with a lot of like, I'm going to say residual anxiety from that. And it, It stemmed, I don't want to say a lot from, but like, just finding that groundedness within and that own voice. And I feel, and I see this with a lot of my clients that societal pressure to handle it all, even in the realm of a truly supportive partnership and family. It's, you know, Maybe we're programmed when we're younger from the society, or we adopt these internal dialogues of like, we have to handle it a lot. All not always on our own, but it's just that for me, it was a differentiation between like reality and adjusting my expectation expectations to seeing reality for what it is and not trying to force, like, this is how it should be.

AVery: 4:33

Yeah.

Kat: 4:34

Yeah Welcome to miles from her view, the podcast, where we dive deep into the unfiltered reality of fitness, strength, training, and nutrition within womanhood and motherhood. I am your host, Kat founder of Kat the strength. I'm a career strength and conditioning coach, entrepreneur, lifelong athlete, and a mom of two. In each episode, we explore the unique challenges and triumphs faced by women navigating the complexities of life. From juggling family and career to prioritizing self care. We dissect the systems and the habits that shape our health and wellness. Join us for real stories, authentic advice, and genuine conversations as we empower each other to embrace our journeys and find strength in vulnerability. I'd love to hear kind of, cause I mean, are we adulted or in the adulthood of social media? And I remember when my babies were younger, they're 10 and 13, which is shocking to say. It was that big birth of blogging and mommy blogs were on the scene. And they were like, I remember feeling like if I can put my kid in 16 different outfits in a day and like, you know, Instagram was on the rise and all of this, like, I just felt like a failure. Mm-Hmm. I'd love to hear your thoughts kind of on that, you know, social media impact versus like real life.

AVery: 5:57

Sure. Yeah. I mean, I think social media can have such a huge impact in both directions. But I think that, especially for. And again, I'm going to tie back to like the, the population of people that I work with, you know, a lot of my clients tend to have a lot of anxiety, tend to have some self esteem issues, tend to have challenges with self confidence, especially when it comes to somebody who's been maybe struggling with ADHD, undiagnosed for their entire lives, and they have a lot of like negative internal dialogue going on. And so. When that's already when you're kind of already your own worst critic and you are seeing all of this information on social media that's telling you like all the things that you should be doing or that you aren't doing or maybe you did something you know, different from what this I don't know, big name, you know, parenting expert says it kind of can really make you spiral in terms of like your confidence as a parent. And so I think it is really important to be mindful as we take in all of this information. And the, I mean, there really are a couple of concrete ways we can be mindful about it, but one is just identifying it. You know your kids best as a mom, and so even if you have somebody who's an expert saying, you know, you should be doing this thing to get your kid to sleep, they don't know your child, and so they don't know you, and so you really have to make sure that you are doing what feels best for you, and like, you know, trying to trust your gut there. And checking in with yourself, like, when you're seeing information on a particular social media account, like, what's that like for you? Is it just causing you to feel more shame? Is it making you anxious? Is it making you feel like you're just not a good enough parent? Or is it actually just inspiring you to, like, do something a little bit different or make some, you know, minor shifts in what you're already doing to, you know, Make it more manageable for you. And so I think really, really checking in with yourself. Like, how is this making me feel after I look at all of this and read all this information? Like, If it's not making you feel good, unfollow those accounts,

Kat: 8:09

right? Yeah. Yeah. There's nothing

AVery: 8:11

wrong with that.

Kat: 8:12

Yeah. I'm a firm believer in that. I even tell my clients, like, if my account, and I hope it doesn't make them feel bad, but if my account is not filling your enoughness and it's filling more, Unfollow me. Like I'm not going to take it personal. And then also please tell me like why, because I don't want to be that, but I, I have no control of where people are at and I think that is huge. That even if it is someone who, you know, it's okay to mute them and unfollow them because it is, does not. In my opinion, it should not tarnish your relationship with that individual, because social media is a weird landscape and, you know, it is. human emotion is hard to understand. And I always say like, you know, social media is very two dimensional, even though you get to see people talk and it looks more three dimensional and you're connecting with them. You don't really know who that is, especially someone who's like a, dare I say, like a guru in that field or an influencer, you know, there's so much more that happens behind the scenes. But I love that. I think. Getting to that internal feeling of like, how are you feeling? How are you receiving this information as a building you up or tearing you down? And so it's, yeah, it's, it's, that's a huge, huge thing. I'd love to dive into this notion of like ADHD because. Like I said, it's, I don't want to say it's trending because I hate when I'm like, Oh, it's trending. It's a cool thing to do. But like, because there has been discrepancies in diagnosis, especially between like, we were younger boys and girls. Oftentimes girls go on diagnosed because it does present differently. And then as we mature into adults and hit that, I hate saying midlife because I'm like, it's 40 really? Or like 30 is like really midlife? There's so much life left. That, you know, these tendencies come out, like how, and this also points to, I find, like, From what I hear from my clients and also from my own mental health journey, I never thought I was that bad when I was mad because we do I'm going to speak for myself and not general is for everyone. Like I didn't feel I was that bad. I didn't feel like I needed help, but when I did start getting help, I was like, Oh my goodness, I really needed help. And it was not a bad thing. It was not weakness. It was tremendous strength, but for women who might be oscillating between. Do I need help with this or not? Are there markers that you see with your clients that someone can be like, Oh yeah, I want to explore this. Is there anything like that you can share?

AVery: 10:49

Well, and so I think it's definitely going to be different for everybody, but I think if we can identify that, like, if one or more areas of our life, like Our relationship with our partner or our family members or parenting or, you know, if we work outside the home and like any or all of that feels really overwhelming or feels like we're just constantly falling, touch my computer, we're constantly falling behind or that we are just on edge all of the time. Probably an indiKator that, like, we could need, we could use some more support in some way. If we're constantly feeling like we're lacking the energy or motivation to do the things that, like, we feel like we want to be doing or feel like are necessary for us to, like, survive our day to day and we don't have that capacity, that might be an indiKator that we could need some more support. More support. And of course, like, you know, if we're feeling more sad than we usually are, if our sleep is Like if our sleep has gotten really bad, we're not sleeping enough we're having nightmares or just like sleep disturbances other than having, you know, a child who's picking you up at night. Right. Or if our appetite has changed and we're have a real loss of appetite or go in the opposite direction and are having just more challenges with maybe like. You know, overeating in some circumstances. Those kind of things are pretty big indiKators. A lot of the clients that come to me have kind of identified that You know, they're feeling just like overwhelmed kind of chronically like it just all the time not necessarily by Anything in particular that's like really large and looming and sometimes that happens, of course But it's more of a feeling and this goes for most people who have ADHD that I work with It's more of this feeling of like I'm chronically overwhelmed Even by things that seem somewhat small or insignificant or you know, one thing kind of pushes me over the edge to get to a point where I'm like losing it with my kids and I didn't expect to get there. And so being more irritable, things like that.

Kat: 13:01

Yeah, no, that's good. And I'm glad you brought up eating because that's one thing that I always talk with my clients about is like, I'm gonna say overeating isn't always a sign that you can't control yourself around food. The brain in the way it's engineered is to keep us safe. And when it doesn't feel safe, it's going to gravitate towards quick and easy things to eat. And so, you know, The way, you know, I try to keep a really good, I'm going to say ear down to the ground with my clients and be like, are you talking with someone? Because I work with clients who are high achievers. Oftentimes they are in high pressure management situations, either as a solo business owner or in the corporate world. And it is a lot, and they're juggling a lot at home and they are the CEO of the house as well as potentially CEO in the corporate world. And, you know, I always explain to them, like, it is. a billion percent okay to not always have yourself atop of mind, but where it becomes troublesome is, you know, to your point, where you're constantly feeling so overwhelmed, where you feeling like you're not good enough or where you're feeling like the world is spinning and you, you can't put your feet down. And it's like, that's where we need to adjust. And in the relation of. with the food is I always find that it could be a lot of over tiredness, a lot of like the or they've under eaten throughout the day. But it is that like, it's the one thing that brings them comfort and they're searching for that pouring into their own cup because they're so depleted. So I do find when my clients. seek a therapist to help them, you know, it, it's not that their priorities are messed up, but it really helps give back to them. And I think, you know, the, I can only help them so much. And the work that we do in residency in the gym, whether virtually or in person it is adding to stress, stress, like the body can't differentiate stress, stress is stress. And so there are times where I'm like, okay, we need to realign. We need to. Dare I say, get the head right, meaning like, let's calm down the central nervous system. Let's get that social emotional feeling good that you feel in control. And maybe we can work back in the strength training. You're going to end the cardio and the movement, and you're going to gain more from that than feeling like, you know, I have to get the weight off. I need to build strength. When, if we come from, As much as arrested, I'm going to say, I just said this to a friend this morning. I saw, I was like, man, I'm a little tired this morning, but I feel like I have this permanent state of just barely tired, like not fully rested just because of parenting. Yeah. That, you know, there may be some ounce of tiredness there, but of course. Perpetual build

15:56

isn't what

Kat: 15:56

we want to feel on a daily basis. But the one thing I also see with clients who come in with me, is this. All or nothing perfectionism. And I find it interesting. And I, you know, I say this from like, I've been there. I, I, I fall into it as well. So it's not from like a pedestal of like, I know what I'm doing. They, especially of like. The lack of adaptability and flexibility with ourselves where you can have really high goals. But, you know, it can be absent with the, like, perfection. Are that all or nothing? Do you find that with some of your clients, too?

AVery: 16:39

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, with so many of my clients, we are kind of, like, constantly working on moving more into that gray area, right? Yeah. Being able to acknowledge that, like, multiple things can be true at the same time, we don't necessarily have to do something perfectly, we can do it good enough, and that is okay, and so you know, working on this, like, idea of self acceptance, that, like, we, we can do things, and we don't have to always be doing them exactly in a way that feels like society is telling us to do them, or that We've just kind of learned is the right way to do something. We have to do it in a way that like works for us and that is aligned with, you know, our values and actually what we have the capacity for in this moment.

Kat: 17:31

I love the capacity for in that moment, which is huge. And I feel when you have that, like, When you know what that means, it helps release so much pressure.

AVery: 17:43

Big time. Yeah. I mean, something, even thinking of like a concrete example of something that has come up recently in some of my sessions, it's like, if we can identify that we're not always going to have the capacity to like, go at, you know, that hundred percent mode, we can actually come up with even like a range of like, all right, I'm going to have these high capacity days, and that's great. And we can be like, really, quote unquote, productive, right, or get things done that we really want to get done. But we're also going to have these days that are like, somewhere in the middle. And we're also going to have these days that are really low. And so on like a Maybe low capacity day. Our goal for that day really has to be set to like, meet those low capacity, you know, low capacity energy and motivation. And so maybe that goal is just to like, feed yourself, hydrate and rest. And like, that is okay. And so part of that is just that kind of, internal dialogue of acknowledging that I'm allowed to have these days where, like, I'm not gonna do anything above and beyond what is, like, keeping me or my kids alive and breathing, right?

Kat: 18:56

Yeah.

AVery: 18:57

And we might, on a high capacity day, like, we might be able to to do the majority of it without additional assistance, but Being able to acknowledge it, like we're gonna have these ups and downs and that's kind of normal.

Kat: 19:09

Yeah. And I love what you said right there. And I'm going to pull this out is you're allowed in that permission. Give that permission back to yourself because we as moms, if our child, no matter what age they're in is feeling overwhelmed, if they're depleted and we know their rest wasn't great, maybe they're battling a cold. Maybe they're overwhelmed with a test coming up, a big sport event, et cetera, you know, We intervene and help, you know, manage that and coach them through that. And for us, there's no one doing that for us, you know, hopefully, I mean, some, you know, who have therapists like yourself can help work with that, or that really good friend that we can turn to and feel like that, but a vast majority, it's, it's hard. And, you know, It's okay to just get through those days. And I know when I learned that what do I have capacity, like asking myself in the moment versus there is a spiraling and then starting to like lash out at my family and just, you know, not helping myself manage. And it doesn't mean I'm like. Cool and copacetic. There are times we still have moments where human. But I started saying mom doesn't have the capacity right now and I need to sit down. I'm going to help you. But my capacity right now is gone. I'm going to sit and then I will help you for me, utilizing those words. One. And my kids were like, Okay, cool. I'll come back to they would, or they would be like, it's a pressing issue and they would go find dad three. It was like communiKating to myself that it's not that I don't want to help my child. I need to serve me to be able to serve my child. If I'm not going to serve me, we're going to be like, burning ourselves out and that is not healthy. And so it is, I've seen that change over time with my kids where they're just like, you know what? I don't have the capacity to do that. I really want to, but I don't have that. So great. The desire is there, but we need to recharge so that when it comes time, we can push on those times. And it it's huge. It's like, we are not endless amounts of energy. We're organic beings that. It's okay to stay in your pajamas all day and, and just relax, you know, and then, like you said, there are going to be those high days where you're going to be out and conquering the world. And I share that with my clients with the workouts, like, we will celebrate. Workouts that are undone. We will celebrate sets and reps left on the table. We will celebrate showing up for a full workout and knocking it out of the park, just as much as a workout that you needed not to do because you needed to rest because that helps you dare I say, stay in the game longer than forcing yourself.

AVery: 21:55

Sure.

Kat: 21:56

And you're going to create more friction and resistance with yourself.

AVery: 22:00

Yeah, well, and what a beautiful way to like model that for our kids, right? Like modeling that it's okay to rest that we don't always have to be like Go go going all the time and in this kind of like chronic state of like high stress Which I think oftentimes kind of precedes like a really sometimes really High functioning adult really, you know, perfectionistic tendencies is like, we've learned throughout our childhood and in our lives that like, we have to keep moving or we're going to fail.

Kat: 22:32

Exactly. No, I full heartedly agree. And I've learned being someone who's like, was ingrained, like, if you're not moving, you're failing. That the more I rest and the more I fill my cup, the actually more I can take on. Yeah, which is funny and it doesn't mean like, you know, I'm stressing myself out and burning myself out and replenishing. It's I have done a better job at like what you said earlier, sticking to my core values, sticking to the priorities and overall I've become more. Productive, you know, it's hard to articulate, like, but it, it's this cool thing where it's like, the more I've given back to me where I was afraid to take time to rest, to give back to myself you know, whether I thought it was selfish or that concept that was some part ingrained along the way, whether societal or, or, you know, upbringing that if I'm resting, that's bad, you know, that's a sign of laziness. You know, the more I've. And again, I want to stress, I'm not burning myself out, like I, it's been one where I think I've been become more aware of those slight little like sparks of like, Ooh, we're starting to get towards burnout. Yeah. Like cool. Yeah.

AVery: 23:49

So that's, that's great. Right, we have to pay attention to what our body is telling us, right? Like, we have to pay attention to our body saying, you need rest or you need to eat or you need whatever it is that you need. You need something that is energizing and stimulating versus something that's going to kind of like help you down regulate, which tends to be a big challenge for people who have ADHD in particular. Listening to their bodies is really hard. And so that's something that you know, is a big focus in a lot of the sessions that I have.

Kat: 24:19

Yeah. Oh yeah, definitely. Definitely. And it kind of like segues into something like with that really ambitious goals and self care, like finding the time of the day, because I mean, I'm in the era of, there is sports drop offs, music lesson drop offs. We've got, my kids are filling their social calendars. I'm like, where's my social calendar? No. And it's like being pulled in all these directions when we want to feel calm, you know, I'd love to hear like strategies or just things that are like, how to approach that, you know, from a whole of like, where do we find ourselves in that? I hate using the word balance. Cause to me, I feel like that's such a perfection seeking. Cause I just don't think there's ever a balance. So.

AVery: 25:06

Yeah, I mean, I think there's a couple ways to to go about that. One is like when you're talking about like the kind of busyness of just like having kids who are now in like lots of scheduled activities or just have lots of social events, I think that does have to do with communiKation with like everyone in the family as a whole. And. And doing almost like a family check in. Like, how are we doing? Do we all have the capacity for this? Because it's not just the, you know, your, one of your children's social you know, capacities. It's really, do I have the ability or capacity to like, take them to all these events? And like, how is this impacting the entire family unit? And so I do think checking in with everybody, especially if your kids are like an older age, where they can kind of have input in that conversation. I mean, I also think that, you know, we have to understand that, again, we're, we're going to have days where, like, our capacity for that self care is lower than others. And so, what is, like, the bare minimum that you have to do in a day to feel like you're doing something to take care of yourself? And maybe that means, and this might just be, My experience, I know not everybody has this ability, and some days I don't even, but like maybe that means like waking up a couple minutes before your kids get up and like everybody is loud and running around the house, right? Or you have some quiet time to yourself to kind of like Start your day a little bit slowly or maybe that means that, you know, after the kids get dropped off at school, you have like five minutes in your car before you go to your next activity meeting, whatever. And that's where we at least find some quiet time, like, We can identify these, like, very small, like, mini moments throughout our days where we can, even though it's not considered, you know, these major self care moments, we can find these, like, tiny moments throughout our day where we're even noticing, like, all right, what do I need right now? Again, checking in with yourself, identifying, like, where am I, what is lacking today, or what do I need in order to, like, feel energized or feel my best in this moment. And so I think, like, taking some pressure off of, like, doing, like, all of these activities and events that are self care, right, because, again, that's just more of that kind of, like, really high achieving perfectionist of, perfectionistic standards of what it means to take care of yourself. So, like, Dialing that back if if that's a challenge at times.

Kat: 27:39

Yeah, no, and I love that. I mean, I know when I talk to my clients, I'm like, what are your self care routines? And it does and it's brilliant. It does become these, I'm going to say extravagant. Things. And I'm like, Oh my God, that's, that's awesome. And I'm like, well, how does it serve you? Well, I struggled with my time. I struggled with the, okay. So, and like, to your point, like those pockets of time are so invaluable. One of the things that I had started actually started, we got a second dog, a puppy last December. And it was just literally letting the dogs out after their breakfast or first thing in the morning with my coffee standing on the patio, there's really no, like, I don't know. four point check in system. It's just focusing on my breathing. Yeah. Tasting the coffee, looking into my backyard. And it has been such an awesome thing that there are times, you know, it's not every single morning. There have been weeks where it's gone, but when I do it again, I'm like, Oh gosh, it's just so amazing. It like my coffee tastes so much better for some reason, but it's just like these little pockets of time where I'm like, when, like, to your point, like, if there is five minutes. you know, in the car, you're in that pickup line. If you can, don't answer that email. Don't scroll on social media. Just sit there, maybe have no music on, maybe have like melodic music on and just connect with yourself because it's going to help tap into letting your body just, and that mind unwind. And I get it. I mean, like, I'm always like onto the next, what's the next, what is here? What is here? Like, and trying to, Get the family from point A to point B, where sometimes we just need to decompress and not think about that.

AVery: 29:29

So,

Kat: 29:31

you know, but it is, it is tough because we do see these extravagant things on social media of, you know, I see it a lot in the like, you know. Which is I call it bro science of like, start your morning at 3am and do a four hour meditation. And I'm like, where are the kids at this point? And when am I sleeping? Yeah, exactly. And, and it is so exhausting. It's like, where am I going to find the time to do this? And it is one more layer of, oh gosh, this is one more thing I have to think

AVery: 30:04

about.

Kat: 30:06

Yeah,

AVery: 30:07

and

Kat: 30:07

I always sort of say to my clients, too, we want to find simple, but simple doesn't mean easy. Simple can feel really hard in the beginning, and that's okay. You're going to have friction. You're going to have trouble, you know, Getting up from the couch to start a workout. You're going to have trouble sitting in a car that's quiet because you're used to filling it with noise. You're going to feel that friction, but if you can get past that little bit of friction and just tell yourself, Okay. Two reps show up for this, like just start a warmup for, I would say the warmup and mobility is the gateway to the workout

30:43

because

Kat: 30:43

you're going to keep moving forward and don't let that emotion of, I have all these things to do. Stop you. You know, I understand it's hard. I, you know, for myself on Saturday, like our kitchen was a mess. That was like a load and a half of dishes on the counters and the sink, the dishwasher was clean. And I literally was looking at it. I was like, I need to get all this done. I don't want to deal with it when I come back from my run and do my workout. But I was like, stop, it's not harming anyone. It will get done right there of yourself first, before you do this. And it was, it all got done the kitchen was clean, you know, there was no one that was going to be like, well, you didn't get your dishes clean before the workout. What are you doing out here? You know, so it can be hard, but. Challenge yourself. I'm going to say challenge yourself to leave a full syncopations. Like, that's part of the process too. So,

31:43

yeah.

Kat: 31:43

And I think too in a functional family unit is Like I know, and maybe it was part of that anxiety of trying to control that once I started, I don't want to say letting my family fail, but letting them take ownership of certain things.

32:02

Like,

Kat: 32:05

allowed the pressure to come off of me.

AVery: 32:07

Sure.

Kat: 32:08

Oh,

AVery: 32:08

sure.

Kat: 32:09

So I don't know if you've seen that with some of your clients, are you kind of like challenge them in certain ways to like, not always take on everything in the household?

AVery: 32:20

Yeah, it is. I mean, it's really identifying like, Where can I actually let go of something here? Like, why am I holding on to this task or whatever it looks like? Why am I holding on to this responsibility? Because it's just adding more to my, my plate here. Where can I let go? Or where can I ask for help when I need it? Because sometimes asking for help feels really hard, right?

Kat: 32:42

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Help, help is tough to ask for. And I, I stress with my clients. I'm like, not knowing. A certain aspect of a profession, especially like in my realm, like I wouldn't expect my clients to know the things that I know about. That's why they come to me. And it's the same for your clients. It's like, you know, it's fine. You don't know what you don't know, and that's okay, but don't assume you should know. It's better to ask questions. And I always say, I'm like, there's no wrong question or inarticulate question with me. You can ask it a million times is totally fine. But when you don't ask, or when you don't, and especially with the clients that I only see virtually, if you don't. So if you don't let me know something, I can't help you or help you troubleshoot it or help with that mindset shift because I'm not a mind reader. It would be great. Oh my goodness. My job would be, I don't want to say easier, but my goodness, I would know, and I'm sure for you, if you were able to read your client's minds, I'd be like, Oh, here we go.

AVery: 33:49

Exactly. Exactly.

Kat: 33:51

Yeah.

AVery: 33:51

Yeah.

Kat: 33:52

But yeah, it is. It is a lot. And I think today there's a lot of pressure and also with. Social media is great, but it can really gum up the works with how we feel we should parent or how our house should look, how we should be as a parent, a woman, a mom, you know, all of the things.

34:16

Yeah.

Kat: 34:16

That I'm a firm believer. Like, Reaching out to a therapist isn't a state of constant. It is good check in. It's good throughout the seasons of your life that it can really help move you forward and, you know, prevent some friction with. That all or nothing or perfection seeking things that we all fall into. I mean, it's okay to keep coming back to these things. Like, so what is, if you could like leave everybody with one, let me say piece of advice, I know this is like a huge ambiguous question. You're like, I don't know, like, what would it be?

AVery: 35:03

Well, I know we've talked a lot this morning about just like having really high expectations for maybe productivity or performance. And so I think the kind of counter that is to really practice being gentle with yourself, like practice, practice. Acknowledging that you are a human who's allowed to make mistakes and that you are somebody who is allowed to have good days, bad days, and whatever falls between that. And so acknowledging that, you know, we're not always going to be on all the time and that that's okay.

Kat: 35:38

Yeah, I love that. I love that. It is. Yeah, the good, the bad and the ugly days all make it up and we are, we are human. And that is, that is huge. I think huge. Where can people find you?

AVery: 35:51

Sure. So they can visit me at my website. It's Avery Wasmanski LPC therapy. com. Or I'm on Instagram at Avery Wasmanski LPC also on Facebook at the same handle.

Kat: 36:02

Okay. Awesome. And that stuff will also be in the show notes for anyone looking to follow her. Or if anyone wants to pursue her therapy it would be really great. And this was such an awesome conversation. Thank you so much for joining me. Thanks for having me. Thank you for joining me on another episode of miles from her view. Your support means the world to me, and I truly appreciate you being a part of our community. If you found today's episode helpful and want to stay informed about all things catfish strength, make sure to subscribe to our weekly newsletter. You'll receive all the latest. Exclusive insights, tips, and updates straight to your inbox to sign up, simply visit the show notes or the subscription link to discover more about catfit strength programs and how you can ignite your fitness journey. Head over to our website at www. cat. fit. There you'll find everything you need to invigorate your path. To strength and once again, thank you for tuning in and I can't wait to connect with you in our upcoming episodes. Take care and remember act to take the next step.