23- Unfiltered: Navigating Body Image and Social Media with Dr. Emily Gordon

Episode Summary: In this episode of MilesFromHerView, Kat sits down with Dr. Emily Gordon, a licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in helping adolescents, young adults, and adults navigate body image struggles, eating disorders, and life transitions. Dr. Gordon offers valuable insights into the complexities of social media's impact on our self-perception, especially for women and young people. Together, Kat and Dr. Gordon discuss ways to foster a healthy relationship with social media, body image, and fitness in a world of comparison and curated realities.

Key Highlights:

• Social Media’s Influence on Body Image: Dr. Gordon discusses how social media can perpetuate unrealistic expectations by presenting carefully curated and edited images. These images often don’t reflect reality, leading to harmful comparisons.
• The Comparison Trap: Whether on social media, at the playground, or in professional spaces, comparison is a natural human tendency. Dr. Gordon emphasizes that it’s especially challenging for adolescents who are in a stage of developing their social identity.
• Understanding Developmental Stages: Kat and Dr. Gordon explore how adolescence is a time of shifting self-awareness, where children start to place more value on social validation. This makes them particularly vulnerable to social media pressures.
• Critical Thinking About Social Media Content: Dr. Gordon encourages listeners to question the source of social media content. Much of what we see is curated to sell products or promote ideals, often making us feel inadequate.
• Healthy Social Media Habits: Both Kat and Dr. Gordon suggest being mindful of how social media affects our mental health and to actively work on filtering content that doesn’t align with personal values or well-being.
• Shutting Down the “Shoulds”: Kat shares her own experience with feeling pressured by social media’s fitness culture, reminding listeners that everyone's journey is unique. Dr. Gordon agrees, encouraging listeners to reject the harmful “shoulds” and focus on what works for their individual goals.

Links & Resources:

• Follow Dr. Emily Gordon on  LinkedIn for more insights into body image and mental health or visit www.dremilygordon.com 

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Transcript

Kat: 0:03

Welcome to miles from her view, the podcast, where we dive deep into the unfiltered reality of fitness, strength, training, and nutrition within womanhood and motherhood. I am your host, Kat founder of Kat the strength. I'm a career strength and conditioning coach, entrepreneur, lifelong athlete, and a mom of two. In each episode, we explore the unique challenges and triumphs faced by women navigating the complexities of life. From juggling family and career to prioritizing self care. We dissect the systems and the habits that shape our health and wellness. Join us for real stories, authentic advice, and genuine conversations as we empower each other to embrace our journeys and find strength in vulnerability. Hey everyone. Welcome back to miles for review today. We have a special guest. Um, Dr. Gordon, Dr. Gordon is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in Natick, Massachusetts. She specializes with adolescents, young adults, and adults of all ages with eating disorders and body image struggles. Emily helps the women of all ages through times of transition, self doubt. and challenge. She believes in addressing the whole self, including dealing with past relationships and experiences that are holding us back from thinking, feeling, and believing in what is possible. Now, Dr. Gordon is passionate about helping people tune into themselves and create the life that is meaningful. Dr. Gordon. enjoy speaking and presenting on a wide range of topics, including adolescent development, parenting, the impact of social media on body image, self care in general, teaching about eating disorder awareness. Welcome. I'm so excited to have you and dive into just a lot of your passions. And I know we've spoken before and I just absolutely love your approach. And I think it is So, so, so needed today. So thanks for being here.

Dr. Emily Gordon: 2:01

Well, thank you. Thank you for inviting me. And I'm always happy to talk about these important things. And, um, I also have enjoyed getting to know you a little bit and hear about the work that you do, because I think, um, what the way that you work with people looking to be strong and healthy is really important as well.

Kat: 2:22

Thank you. Yeah, it's it's great. It's huge. And it goes hand in hand and, you know, one area I see, you know, I'm, I'm a boy mama and it's like my older son is getting into that, you know, he's 13 and just seeing he's not on social media yet, but just seeing that comparison with others around and like how I know I'm. I'm in the social media world, a little bit of my business, but how I too being, you know, professional in the business, knowing the science behind it, knowing different things, how social, social media can influence me. And I see the impact on my clients with everybody's different fitness journeys, you know, is I'd love to hear your thoughts on that, on ways to have a healthy relationship with all of, cause in this world of social media and body image.

Dr. Emily Gordon: 3:13

Boy, we're jumping right into it. Um, but you're, you touched on, I think, some, some really important themes and topics, you know, so, so 1 is that, um, you know, we are social beings and we do like to connect and, you know, connect with, learn from, interact with other people and social media is really just 1 way that we can do that. Um, I think we're all prone to. Comparing ourselves to others again, like, whether that's in social media, or whether that's on the playground, or whether that's, you know, in the classroom or on LinkedIn, like, wherever it is, you know, I think we just can't really help but compare ourselves and what's interesting when you talk about your, your, your child. Is that, you know, in some ways, like, that's sort of a, um, a developmental task, right? Or it's sort of a developmental stage when kids go from being more just sort of consumed with themselves to really, like, valuing themselves in the social world. And so it's just sort of caught my attention, right? Because in some ways, that's what's supposed to be happening. But I think social media makes it that much more sort of. Risky, um, so, you know, like, I say a lot of things when it comes to social media. The 1st thing is that I'm going to have trouble with my earphones all day today. Um, so the 1st thing is that, you know, um, Um, We have to understand what social media is, um, and that they are images and pictures. And, you know, people are posting things on there and they're sort of posting the more positives, right? They're, they're, the pictures are curated. They're, they're kind of, they're, they're showing what they want things to look like. And, um, and a lot of those images. You know, have been edited or, you know, someone has worked really hard to procure the, the, the idea or the image that they, they're sharing. So we have to remember that, um, that what we're looking at may or may not be an accurate representation of what's really happening.

Kat: 5:24

Exactly. Exactly. That is huge. And that is. Something that I try to in my messaging, um, you know, try to convey is that this is a snapshot and it's not the full story. And that is something, you know, I know I. Talk lightly with my clients when they're going for their own journeys. And what does a real, authentic, consistent, um, strength training and cardio training, all of that look like, and it's not this pretty picture that you see on Instagram or anywhere else. There's a lot that goes on behind the scenes and it's, it can be, and I, you know, And I share openly with them can be demoralizing like I kind of get fed into it too where I, you know, need to change things and I'm like, Oh, but I should and I'm like, whatever you hear those shoulds or that comparison, you gotta shut it down. Yeah,

Dr. Emily Gordon: 6:25

because we have, we have to ask like, where does that come from right where does that should come from. And when we're talking about, you know, social media or, you know, the first question is like, Where is this information coming from? What is the source? And, um, what we know is that, you know, some people, some information on social media is there just to share and to educate. Some of it is to sell, um, right? So there's this huge industry and culture that is behind a lot of what we're seeing, um, which is kind of designed to make us feel bad and to make us want to. to spend money on a product or a program and make us feel like we're not doing things right. So, um, so we really have to take into account and ask ourselves, where is this coming from? And what is the, like, what is the motivation behind it? Um, I think that's really, really important.

Kat: 7:23

I do too. And I think that's huge because there is, I mean, from my side and putting together social media, yes, I would love to coach, coach whoever comes upon my page, but I also want to do it in a way that is wholesome and from a place of enoughness and not the scarcity that they needed, or they're feeling lesser than, um, because it is, you know, I would say like, what I do is such an intimate thing because it's, you know, you only have one home. It's your body. I can't tell you how you feel in your body. I may have some thoughts or ideas, but what your vision and version of your best life is. You know, may not be what I think it should be. And that's where I stress like working with clients one on one and really listening and helping break it down for them.

Dr. Emily Gordon: 8:14

Well, I, I, I absolutely love and admire what you just said, because I think that is so critical. I wish there were more people or sort of more ways that we could embrace that message. Um, I think that, you know, one of the things you said really struck out to me is that, um, there is really no one size fits all measure of health and wellness and, um, there is no right way to do things. And you know, so, so we really need people like you that are going to take the time to help us tune in, um, and also understand and figure out what is right for us. Right. So these ideas of what we should be doing or, you know, what healthy looks like, or what healthy feels like, um, like, those are all really hard to define. And I think that's, Really one of the issues just not just when it comes to body image and health, but when it comes to everything in social media is that, you know, life is really complex and it's, it's hard to boil it down to, you know, a real, um, or, you know, like, I mean, I love quotes and I, you know, but like, like, it's hard to really, um, arrive at, like, real understanding and depth. Easily and we, you know, we're also busy and like, we're just sort of looking for something very, you know, that's quick and it's easy and that we can just do that, you know, and it will work and it'll fix things. Uh, but it's really hard to do.

Kat: 9:53

Oh, yeah, 100 percent 100 percent and that's that's why I kind of always say what I do is very the way I approach fitness is very. It's not fun or flashy. It's yeah, but it's real. Yeah, but it's real

Dr. Emily Gordon: 10:07

and it's meaningful. And I think, you know, there are people out there that are looking for that and that really understand and value it. Um, and I think that that's, you know, another message that I like to, to give people when we talk about social media is that. Um, and the other thing is that, um, you actually do have some power and some control, even though you may not feel like you do, and it may be a little bit of effort to find it, right? But just like somebody can choose to work with you or somebody like you, um, you know, we can, there really is a lot of good content out there, and, and I always recommend, um, both to, you know, adults and parents, but also to kids. To teenagers when they're just starting out that that we really have a lot of power in what we like and what we who and what we follow and um, and I really, you know, people, people in my family laugh when they see my social media feeds because it's very, it's very true to who I am and what is important and valuable to me. Um, and there's really, you know, when I see things in my feed about like, You know, positive body image or, you know, slowing down and tuning in like that really resonates. And it makes me stop and remember, yeah, I need to do this. So I really, really, really encourage people to take a little bit of time and, you know, do a little research and find some positive accounts and people and models out there that really speak to, to these issues.

Kat: 11:38

I love that. I love that. I think it is so, so crucial to remember that like, We have more control of what we see and we can block out. And, you know, I, I love that it is huge. And it's one that I do remind myself where I kind of go through and be like, okay, I need to not follow this account. Great person, but it's not. Helping me, you know, get where I need to go. And, um, I love that. I think that's, that's huge. And

Dr. Emily Gordon: 12:04

similarly, you know, we can not only in what we follow, um, or who we follow, but also just in the time that we spend. Right. I mean, again, I know it's hard that, you know, these, um, these, like, they're. There's a lot of science and there's a lot of computer science out there that is behind the scenes. But, you know, look, we can say, okay, I am not going to go on Instagram today. Right. Or, you know, in my family, you know, I do not allow certain platforms in my house as much as I can. Right. And so we can say, all right, you know, I'm going to turn this off, or I'm going to set a timer for myself, or I'm going to take a break from this, uh, this platform. Um, We can really do that.

Kat: 12:46

Yeah, I love that. I always try to have a A time where I'm like, how am I spending my time? You know, especially that downtime when you're tired from the day and it may not be time to like, start going to bed. It's like, what am I doing on my phone? What is the purpose? And I found that I'm more aware of my phone usage behavior since now my older son has a phone and I'm like, yes, I need to teach him good habits. And, you know, showing him that it's not. Something that I need to fill the void. It's okay to you need, we need to be off screens. Um, so that has been, I don't want to say a wake up call, but an awareness call to be like, okay, I need to model a behavior that I want to see from him if I can't expect him to be held to a higher accord or different behavior model if I'm not willing to commit to it as well. Um, so it's. It's, it's tough and we have very open conversations about how, you know, addicting it can be to quickly grab or do, but it's like why we need to break free and how it helps us have that downtime and, you know, and also just our, whatever's going on in our subconscious when we see something could trigger. You know, a spiraling thought positive or negative.

Dr. Emily Gordon: 14:05

Well, I'd love that you do that. And I think that that really shows a lot of sort of self awareness and insight. Right. And, and that's what I mean, look, parenting is super challenging and demanding in so many ways. And also really gives us some opportunities to take a look at ourselves and, you know, understand what we're doing and why and, and, um, how we can do better. So I, uh, I think that's absolutely critical that. When we're talking about all of these topics, social media, even just sort of have positive body image, health, healthy eating, like fitness, that we look at our own stuff, right? Our own message, like the messages, how we treat ourselves, how we talk about other people, um, and, and what we're doing with our time.

Kat: 14:51

Oh, a hundred percent. And while we're on the topic of parenting, one of the things I remember, uh, one of our. Previous conversations, but I just was like, Oh my goodness, this needs to be amplified is, you know, the language around food and eating. And it is, it just stuck with me because that is one thing that I'm in my own parenting. And when I talk with clients, it's just like food is food. And all food can fit into a healthy diet, unlike a lot of stuff again, what we see on social media, it's big and trendy. I can't stand them, but they're like going into the grocery store and screaming like on their phones as to what's bad or what I'm like, can we stop this? Like, you know, or don't eat it. I guess what was it? I don't even remember. I can't keep up with half of them, but like, it's just like food is food and all food can fit into a healthy diet. And It's just paramount where I see sometimes clients to no fault of their own life is busy where they're, you know, missing hunger cues because they're so outward focused or there's that social, um, Um, uh, impact on them where it's like, Oh, now I can't eat that much or this or that. There's just a lot, or I'm out eating, but I'm starving, but I don't want to eat out because it's bad. You can do all of that. And I'd love to hear maybe some tips or actual ideas or awareness of just your thoughts on that, because there's, Thought it was amazing how in our previous conversation, I'm like, it should have been recorded. It was awesome. Thank

Dr. Emily Gordon: 16:28

you. I was like, I hope I can remember exactly what I said the last time. Um, so look, you, this is like, you're touching, I mean, we're, we're only going to get to the tip of the iceberg on this. Right. But, um, but I think what you're speaking to is that We all come to be where we are through a variety of experiences, messages that we have received, like, you know, we sort of come to any moment in time with a whole history of what has led up to that and where that's relevant as parents is that yes, you know, maybe we had our own, you know, You know, experiences of growing up and being a, you know, being a certain size and being treated a certain way because of that, or our own parents had beliefs and ideas about what we were supposed to be doing in the house. And we also have this evolution of what we call diet culture and wellness culture, right, where there are just so many messages that are out there about, you know, we should look a certain way that health looks a certain way that, you know, some foods are good and some are bad and, you know, and that if we just try harder or do better or, you know, exercise more or eat less or, um, whatever the messages are, that somehow that will fix things, or that will make things okay, or that will mean that we're healthy. I think there's, you know, also a whole, um, side of our culture, you know, that, um, I think really, um, sort of villainizes bodies, uh, bodies, shapes, sizes, colors that sort of don't fit the mainstream ideal. And that is very problematic. And so we come to parenting with these beliefs and these experiences and these ideas that we have internalized from the world around us. And then we say, Oh, but I want my kid to have a positive body image. Well, of course we do, but you know, we have to take a look at our own selves. To, um, and, and that can be really hard, but it's so important.

Kat: 18:38

I agree with that. I, you know, I remember I didn't start hearing my own internal dialogue about food and eating until I started, until my older son was starting to get on table food and eating, and he wasn't like, okay, he can't eat this. Or I was afraid, but it was just. It became a weird, uh, I just have that.

Dr. Emily Gordon: 19:01

Well, that makes a lot of sense, right? I mean, that makes a lot of sense because you sort of just you do what you do and you go through, you know, and you're not really thinking about it. And you're just kind of doing it. And then it's not till I think you are responsible for someone else where it also, there's a little bit of like, an observing stage. That goes on right as you're giving advice or, you know, making rules for someone else. You say, well, hey, wait a second. You know, how did I like, like why did I say that? Or why did I do that? Or why do I think that? Um, or what is right? And so, um, look, the first thing that I say to people when it comes to any of these issues, really any issue. Ever is that we have to have some self awareness, right? We have to pause. We have to slow down. We have to tune in and we have to just try to understand what is happening in our own minds and bodies and thoughts and feelings and and so. Um, and then once we understand what what's happening there, then we can say, okay, well, how do I want to be? Or how do I want things to look? Or what do I want? You know, so and so to learn from me. Um, and so what can I do differently? So, so that's really like the first place that I tell parents to start is just what, what is going on in you? Um, also when it comes to parenting, um, it's really hard, but we really have to think about what we say and do. Um, and sometimes it's hard to do, right? And sometimes we do something and we're like, and then we think about it later. But we're, we're working on, we're developing that muscle that we are learning how to, um, yeah. Think and respond at the same time.

Kat: 20:48

Yeah. Oh, there have been many times where I've said stuff and been like, let me go back and readdress, which

Dr. Emily Gordon: 20:54

I can do, you know, I think we have, we have the, I think that's so important and in parenting and in all relationships that we say, Hey, you know, I was really thinking about what I said, or I was thinking about what I did and what I think I meant to say was, or what I wish I would have said was, or I think I said this because I was really, you know, Worried or sad or, um, just tired and, you know, didn't respond. Well, so we can always go back.

Kat: 21:21

Yeah, which is which is huge. And I find it. At least in my household, when I've done that, it teaches my kids are like, oh, wait, you know, yes, I'm responsible for what I say, but, you know, it breaks down. I feel like that have to be on edge to say everything right or perfect all the time. You can also own your humanness and be like, okay. Like I remember last night I was in the gym. My son wanted me to take him through some stuff and I was, I was hungry and dinner was off at all.

21:50

And I was

Kat: 21:51

like, I was like, I can't do this right now. I can't think because I am hungry. I am so sorry. We need to,

Dr. Emily Gordon: 21:57

well, what a great model, right? To say like, I need, I have some needs and I need to take care of this and let me do that. And then I can, you know, and then I can be with you.

Kat: 22:07

Yeah. And it's. And it's huge. And that is one a note for myself. It took me a long time to have that, um, boundary there for myself. And it's okay. Like I have needs as well. And if I need to prioritize my needs before my kids, you know, in a, you know, copacetic situation like that, or when they were a toddler, they were watching show, but I needed to eat or to tell them, hold on one minute, you know, and they were safe, it also models for them that, Hey, you're a person too. And that's. So I can be patient too, or, you know, I remember, I mean, I, I also struggled trying to take time for myself to get my workouts in because I thought I needed to have, you know, my own time without my kids. And then I had to embrace the idea of imperfect workouts and knowing that I don't remember what set or rep I was on, but you know, I'm getting the movement in and my kids are there or taking a skewed rest break because someone needed something. It was like. It was okay now, yes, I always, and I urge my clients and I also have for myself, your own one-on-one workout time or your own me time. Your time shouldn't always be spent with your kids. Um, but it is that like modeling that, hey, you are a human. Mm-Hmm, and that. Boundaries are okay, like in that context.

Dr. Emily Gordon: 23:27

It's so important, right? And I think in order to do that, we have to, as parents understand a little bit, like, what's going into our difficulty setting a boundary in that moment, right? Is it that we're scared of if we say no, you know, something's going to happen to our kids or is it that we feel like we are, we don't deserve that or, you know, some definition of what it means to be the best A good parent. Um, so, so I think it's really important to do, but again, gets to that like self exploration and understanding of what's coming up for you in that moment. Um, but I absolutely agree that we have to take care of ourselves. And we have to model, um, the things that we're asking our kids to do, we have to really model those things ourselves, right? You can't be, you know, talking about bodies and being critical and talking about different body types and then say to your kids, Oh, but size doesn't matter, right? Um, you know, you, so we have to really be consistent and, and, and look at our own actions and words. Okay. So to that end, you know, I like to tell parents that your kids are always watching you, whether you think they are or not. They are paying attention.

Kat: 24:43

Oh, yeah.

Dr. Emily Gordon: 24:43

Um, and so, you know, what you say about your own body, um, what you. serve for meals, um, what you talk about in terms of exercise or dieting or other people's bodies, like they are paying attention and taking it in.

Kat: 25:04

A hundred percent. A hundred percent there. It is pretty awesome. And it's, it's also like, Ooh, okay. But you know, that's where I know for myself, I. Um, and you know, when my older son was a toddler, it was like, okay, I need to do that deep inner work for things so that, you know, he and, you know, then my younger son, that they have a wholesome understanding that, you know, Health looks different. Nutrition can look different. Nutrition can look different in different periods of your time. Your movement can look different in different periods of time. Um, but it all comes together and it all helps on the journey of health and wellness. There's no like you have to be robotic with it or militant with it. It should adapt and change with you. And that it's okay, sometimes for it to be have some friction, but that friction could be that prioritization with a busy schedule or

Dr. Emily Gordon: 26:08

not. Absolutely. I, I think it's actually, you know, I mean, here we're talking about body image. We're talking about health and eating, but we're also talking about like, psychological and emotional wellness, right? And, and like, Your kid is ultimately like that is their job for life is to take care of their own bodies, right? You know, you're a partner in that, especially when they're younger. But ultimately what we want to be teaching kids is that they have the ability and the power to be able to make their own choices and know themselves. And so we have to empower them to do that. And we have to trust that they can, and we have to tolerate our own fears of what will happen if they don't do it the way that we want them to, or think that we should, that they should. Right? And so. But then again, that is about that is about physical health, but it's also about emotional health that they are empowered to be themselves to take care of themselves and to to know themselves.

Kat: 27:14

I love that. And I think it's huge because. I don't know my clients when they're younger, and I'm not saying like, you know, their childhood was messed up or anything, but like what I see, especially working with my clients, there's a mistrust between their choices with the food or their choices in moving their body. And so for me, it's kind of helping them build a bridge to that trust that it's okay that eating one doughnut You know, for breakfast, because you really, really just don't have the mental capacity to like do anything else. And that that's fine. You know, having, um, a day without a vegetable on your plate is not going to be the end all be all that there are many paths and that we need to kind of not hold on just on the micro perspective, but also look at the macro perspective that You know, we can, the more times we're doing, um, you know, those behaviors to help us get to the goal, the more consistent that is consistency. It's not being perfect in every step of the way. Absolutely. Absolutely.

Dr. Emily Gordon: 28:25

And and again, you're bringing up, you know, so many kinds of different topics, but but the idea of, like, what is our goal? Actually, right, because, you know, sometimes we just want to eat things that taste good, that bring us joy and pleasure. Right. Or maybe, um, you know, I just actually was reading a book and, you know, the someone in the book was like making homemade donuts for their, you know, for their like love interest. Right. And it's like, well, maybe, you know, that donut was like. A labor of love or, um, and so it is okay to take time to enjoy or to, like, feel good. Um, we don't always have to sacrifice or, uh, you know, deny ourselves things. Um, and so really what we're looking for, again, is this. sort of like broader emotional, psychological concept of flexibility, right? Like that's sort of what health is, you know, I, you know, you said this in my introduction, but I work a lot with people who have eating disorders. And, you know, one of the, one of the things that happens is that people become so inflexible in the name of being healthy and, and we have to really wonder, is that actually health, right? And I, I. Don't think it is when we're so unable to be flexible.

Kat: 29:47

I a hundred percent agree.'cause it, it's just for me, I feel like it, it, it sets the bar so high that it's just unobtainable. You're just not, you feel like you're always losing. Yes.'cause you can't keep up with this expectation. And when you do, the guilt is just sometimes ins surmount, insurmountable. Like, you just, it's just hard to, to do that. And like, I, yes. You know, and I think it's like, I'm a natural high achiever. And I noticed where certain things were when I'm putting that, that bar way too high. And I'm like, you know, yes, I have perfect capabilities, but I need to really meet myself where I'm at to understand where it is becoming more toxic than positive to hold myself to a certain standard. So, you know, that's where it's like, okay, I have to be adaptable. And sorry.

Dr. Emily Gordon: 30:40

Yeah, very, I mean, we have to be adaptable and we have to again think about, like, what are we striving for here? Right? And I, yes, I mean, I think it's hard when we have goals and we want to, you know, achieve and sort of accomplish things, but I think we have to remember and this is really a big part of my work is, you know, sort of what are our values? And what are our priorities? And what are the things that are really and truly important to us? Because those are the things that are ultimately going to resonate and help us to feel good about who we are. Um, you know, as people in relationships, in our work, um, in our parenting, right, is sort of what are the things that bring us meaning?

Kat: 31:25

I love that. I love that. And that is something that I. had made a change in the way with I coach with my clients is Sunday evening they get and I always kind of say, um, like this is scheduled in the app for all my clients. Um, it's like Sunday evening or whatever time, like it's available to them, I think in the morning on Sunday. Um, and it's kind of planning for the week. What is your priority for the week? What can you do? And, and I tell them, I'm like, you can put anything in there. It's confidential between you and I, I'm not going to post it on social media. And sometimes I say use these questions as a framework. Maybe you want a journal, maybe you don't want to put it in there. I am okay with that. the intention of what is your priority for the week? Because it's, you know, in the context of, you know, strength and conditioning and conditioning, it's cardio movement and mobility. Um, you know, you may have a partner that's traveling that week and it may be harder for you to get your, your workouts in. So maybe it's, Hey, you know what I need to Meet myself where I'm at I know I can get one strength workout in and my movement is going to be walks at lunch or here or on the playground with the kids or whatnot. And you're still showing up for yourself. You're still prioritizing your health and well being. Maybe it's okay, you know, Wednesday and, Whatever other day is just, we're not going to be able to eat at home. Okay, schedule it in. Those are drive through days, like, or whatever, because once it's scheduled in there, it's a plan. You've met and made it a priority. You have the plan. There's no, oh, well, I should have, you know, that's right. And you've

Dr. Emily Gordon: 32:59

thought about what is important, what is realistic, what is achievable, right. And sort of what the bigger picture is. Because there's so many things, you know, as parents that we are, um, trying to accomplish and take care of and feel responsible for, and can be really overwhelming. Oh, 100%.

Kat: 33:19

And that's, that's what I love when my clients are like, I don't like when they're struggling at all, but it's like, hey, you know, we're, we're here. It's the fall, so we're just going to start a cold and flu season, but it's like, Hey, kids are sick. I thought I would have time, but my whole plans have been derailed. And I'm like, okay, focus on getting the sleep, getting the mobility. You're doing great. And so it's like, I can kind of help. Be that sounding board for them. And they're like, oh, wow, I can still move forward. I can still like, yes, because that's going to happen and we're not meant to do it all and keep everything on this straight line, um, progress and success is just a scribbled line. It's all over the place with a plan that adapts and molds with you, um, based on like your whole wellbeing. Like it is really that whole social, emotional. Well, being to help you help you keep moving forward. It's it's huge. I know that has been a huge shift for even for myself when I, with my own health journey is just keeping that adaptability and being like, I know all the science. I know all the research, but sometimes. You know, that can be thrown out and you can still move. So I

Dr. Emily Gordon: 34:27

think all of this is so important. And I love all these things that you're saying that you do and offer to the people that you work with it also takes a lot of work. Right? I mean, this, this is sort of, there's so many messages that are constantly coming in at us. And I think what we're talking about today probably isn't, you know, the top of what's coming in, right? The, um, I think the messages that are coming in probably are opposite to what we're talking about today. And so it really takes a lot of. Work and effort, at least at the beginning to really be mindful and sort of understand, like, how you can think about things or slow yourself down or actively not take in something that is. Coming at you. Um, so, you know, I think again, we get back to my concept of, like, being aware, right? And understandings. Maybe some of these messages are coming from social media. Maybe they're coming, you know, from a different coach that somebody has, or, you know, a class at the gym, or, you Um, a boss, or, you know, your own kind of experience growing up, but so they can't be these, these ideas and these expectations come from so many different places. Um, and we kind of are just always needing to constantly reassess like, is this working for me? Where are my thoughts and values coming from? How can I change and adapt and do a little better? Be kinder to myself.

Kat: 36:02

Yeah, I think that I think that's huge. It's, it's huge. And like you said, it's, it's not easy and it does take a lot of work, but it takes, I mean, to understand and start to hear, like, The, that awareness hearing of that negative self talk or that it can be huge and how it can be stopping you. I remember when I realized how impactful my own negative self talk was in actually preventing me from moving forward with my own like health and wellbeing. It was, Again, I was like, I'm in the business. I should do this, but you know, I'm human too. And it's like, and it was like, wow. And as soon as I changed my mindset, you know, it wasn't like overnight. It was, you know, months, year, like.

36:58

Yep.

Kat: 36:58

It started to put up that just stop and that boundary, you know, and as I always tell my clients is it never goes away, but what you do get better at is picking up as soon as your mind turns negative and shutting it down.

Dr. Emily Gordon: 37:14

Yes.

Kat: 37:15

And you know, and there are days where maybe you're tired or whatever the case may be, it may be harder to shut it down. And I say in those days. Just, just let that side of your mind run and just keep moving forward. Don't pay it any attention, just kind of

Dr. Emily Gordon: 37:34

move forward. Well, I love that you, I love that you said that, that it, it can take time, but it does get easier. Right. And, you know, I think the other things that gets easier is that the more we take, the more we invest in like the positive, I'm going to say positive self care, but like But what I mean is really doing things that are nourishing and rewarding and, um, and, like, truly self care, um, the more that we can build those kinds of practices in the easier it gets also, because that is another way that we're combating these, these sort of self critical messages. Um, with actively, um, the opposite.

Kat: 38:18

Yeah. Oh, a hundred percent. I mean, I think it's huge, huge. And let's say, you know, I know with my, I feel like a broken record with my clients, I'm like, celebrate everyone. Just tell me, and I had a client tell me, she's like, I laid down when I knew I had so much stuff to do, but that's what I needed in the moment. I was like, that is massive.

Dr. Emily Gordon: 38:38

That is powerful.

Kat: 38:40

Yeah. And she's like, I know I should have, I said like, stop. There's no shit. Yeah. Yeah. You honored where you were at and they said, that is huge. It's we're always on the go. We're always trying to move forward. And it's sometimes we need to be still, or sometimes even if you have the capacity for doing a workout for doing something, but. Something else causing you need that greater positive light. Take it, take it. Cause I'm like, after all, there's no one telling you, Oh, you have a sink full of dishes. You need to get this done. You have this and that, you know, it's sometimes you need to, you know, go internal to build yourself up and things that you've blown past have led to potential burnout or frustration. And that's, It's not a life we want to keep living in and it looks different for each person is so right. So it's, it's so, so huge. It's, I love, I love all this stuff. And there's so, so, so many, so many things we could cover. It is a lot, but it is such a great, great topic. And I think something that needs to be talked about more that relationship between the social emotional and, you know, taking it in the facet of moving your body and that there is a huge social emotional component to it. And that is something that I. Like to be keen on with my clients and I am a big proponent of, um, therapy, not myself doing it for my clients, but like referring out because it is very helpful. I have had clients who have recovered from eating disorders and when they, you know, You know, I'm like, Hey, talking over someone or clients where they are in that moment, those moments of parenting, where they want to change their mindset and their internal dialogue about food and body image. And those are things that are out of my scope. And that's why I love, you know, doctors like you who can help those clients in ways so that. When they are putting the time in with their workouts, they're seeing a greater return and their whole self is being, you know, stepping into the version that they want to see and be well,

Dr. Emily Gordon: 40:55

well, Kat, I mean, I'm certainly grateful to you because I think that what you're doing is so Um, and I think that that's one of the things that's so important, right, is reminding people or even just letting people know that there is a different way. Um, because I think a lot of times, you know, like, like a trainer or, um, you know, a, like a food revamp. Like those are sort of the places that people start oftentimes. Um, and I think that you're, you know, you, I know we're getting short on time, but you said a couple of things that are really important to me. You know, one is that, um, it's sort of, it's, it's, it's physical, but it's also sort of Like social emotional, and I think a lot of times in the, you know, in our culture, we're sort of led to believe that, you know, it's about what we look like, or it's about the physical and then if we can just fix that, or just, you know, make that okay, then everything else will feel better and, you know, I, I, I'm here to say that I don't really, I don't agree with that, uh, that philosophy. And so, um, You know, we have to look beyond just the body and the physical. Um, I also think what you said about parenting is like the reason why I'm here, you know, talking to you. And the reason why I do what I'm doing and sort of have lots of ideas about what I'm going to be doing next is that to me, parenting is like all about One of the most important things that we do in life for those of us that are parents, um, and that it matters so much. And yes, there are a lot of challenges and none of us are perfect and it's really hard and we didn't cause, you know, a lot of these issues. Things that are going on, but what we do and how we respond is so incredibly important and can have such a big impact. So that's really, you know, something that is very important to me.

Kat: 42:52

Yeah. And I love that. So where can people find you where if they follow you, where can they like read about your work, everything?

Dr. Emily Gordon: 43:00

Yep. Well, those are all good questions. So I'm working on all of those things. Um, but at the moment, um, I have a website it's, um, www. dremilygordon. com. Um, so you can follow, find me there. Uh, I am going to be adding a newsletter sort of Like follow me. So that's coming. You can always email me. I'm on LinkedIn. Um, and not a whole lot of social media. Uh, but, um, but I'm trying. Um, so those are the, those are the best places to find me.

Kat: 43:35

Okay. Awesome. I'll include all that in the show notes. So you get that. And we will definitely have to have you back because it was not enough time to cover it all. No, it never is. But that's okay.

Dr. Emily Gordon: 43:48

Just do what we do and do more later.

Kat: 43:50

Exactly. Exactly. But it was so good to have you on.

Dr. Emily Gordon: 43:53

You too. Really nice to talk with you about your work and, um, always nice to talk about these important things.

Kat: 44:03

Thank you for joining me on another episode of miles from her view. Your support means the world to me, and I truly appreciate you being a part of our community. If you found today's episode helpful and want to stay informed about all things catfish strength, make sure to subscribe to our weekly newsletter. You'll receive all the latest. Exclusive insights, tips, and updates straight to your inbox to sign up, simply visit the show notes or the subscription link to discover more about catfit strength programs and how you can ignite your fitness journey. Head over to our website at www. cat. fit. There you'll find everything you need to invigorate your path. To strength and once again, thank you for tuning in and I can't wait to connect with you in our upcoming episodes. Take care and remember act to take the next step.